Oct 30, 2017

NoQS Agent Round: Home Baby

Genre: Adult Thriller
Word Count: 90,000

My MC and MA (main antagonist) are dressed as:

Maisey is dressed as a mummy (playing on the word mommy), and her homemade costume's poised to take first prize at the harvest festival, until she sees Spoiler-Proof Bad Guy. His mummy wrap is finished with a layer of glittering, sticky blood.


Life as a new mother has been good for Maisey Andrews. Her daughter, Gabby, has helped her come out of her shell, and Maisey revels in her role. But when her husband, Kevin, insists they need a night out, Maisey hires their teenage neighbor to babysit. The new parents enjoy their date, but pleasure is quickly swapped for desperation when they return to find the babysitter and Gabby are missing.

Their long-time friend, Officer Mike Derek, takes the lead on the case and promises justice. Things take a strange twist when Maisey begins her own investigation. After discovering a clump of hair in the woods, and a strange cult meeting behind the walls of a nearby construction company, Maisey struggles to put the pieces together. And Kevin’s secretive behavior and private conversations with the police aren’t helping.

When Maisey begins to suspect that Kevin and the police might have something to do with Gabby’s disappearance, she meets with a private investigator to learn how to build a case. She buys a gun and starts tracking leads on her own terms. When the hunt expands and Maisey discovers a devastating family secret, one thing becomes clear; there is something much more sinister than a kidnapping at work.

First 250:

Maisey Andrews held the wheel at ten and two as she turned from Interstate 9 onto Village Avenue. Her eyes flashed to the rearview mirror. Behind her sat Gabrielle, bundled tightly inside her car seat. The baby smiled as she found her mother’s reflection.

“Almost home.” Maisey reached back to grab Gabrielle’s little toe.

Motherhood changed Maisey in all the ways she thought it wouldn’t. Her own mother told her it would take the life and youth from her body, but Gabrielle had only strengthened Maisey’s spirit. Instead of sleepless nights, she was gifted with peace. Rest had been tough to come by for the old Maisey, but the new one slept like—

Music cut out as Maisey’s cell phone chirped through the Bluetooth. The baby had changed her, but old habits (texting and driving) fade like Sharpie on drywall. Maisey lifted her phone:

I’ll be home soon, sexy.

Her husband, Kevin, also changed with the birth of their first child, and letting his wife know his every move came with that change. Maisey dropped the phone into the cup holder and rounded the turn. She set her eyes on house at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Joy shifted into anxiety as Maisey stopped at the mailbox. Kevin’s truck was already in the driveway. The chrome wheels glistened in fading sunlight. Maisey’s mind began turning with twisted thoughts of adultery. She had been cheated on twice in college, and lies were the foreplay to betrayal.

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