Feb 22, 2014

Changing Directions

I've been neglecting both Twitter and my blog as of late. Why? Because I'm neck deep in writing another novel while juggling two jobs, a family, querying, and the prospect of being the uncle of twins. TWINS!

My brother is a year-and-a-half older than me (I'm 23) and he's the first of my generation to have children. To be honest, that got me to thinking a lot about my life. Now, I still feel I'm too young to have kids, but my rationale for as long as I can remember was, as soon as I accomplish my dream of being a published novelist, I'll close my laptop and for a bit and enjoy life.

The fact is, it's easy for me to spend an entire day (or week) living in a world of my own creation. I feel felt that throwing all of myself at my dreams would be worth the moments I miss. The time that I lose.

But... it's not.

As a writer, I've sunk so much time, energy, thought, and emotion into seeking the validation of someone with the title Literary Agent. I've cried, scream, begged, and prostituted myself (not literally) with hopes that an agent would validate my talents. But none have. So...what does that mean?


You know why? Because I'm a good storyteller. I don't need an agent to validate that. With every novel I pen, I'm getting better and better. For a long time I forgot that the only two people that truly matter to me (as a writer) is myself and the reader.

That realization led me to making a decision that I never though I would make: self-publishing. I thought about it for a long long time, and it was only until recently that I realized what my true passion is. I want to tell stories. That's it. Agents, publishers, editors, query letters...all that is background noise for what I really want to do.

So, as I begin my journey to self-publishing my first novel, I'll chronicle the highs and lows on this blog for all to see. I'll chart the money, time, and energy spent to get my book publish-ready. I'll publicly celebrate my first sale, and cry when days/weeks go by without any downloads.

It's going to be a long, hard road, wrought with potholes, setback, and maybe even failure. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I really am. To clarify, I'm not giving up on traditional publishing, I'm just not putting my eggs in one basket anymore. I'm taking charge of my dreams, not passing the reins to someone else.

Wish me luck :o)