Query Kombat: What You Need to Know

Bloggers SC, Michael, and Michelle are back again to bring you the third annual Query Kombat tournament.

The Basics

Query Kombat will host 64 kombatants in a single-elimination, tournament style query-off. Entries will go head to head (one on one) with one another until only ONE entry remains. There will be a total of six rounds in Query Kombat. 64 entries in round one, 32 in round two, 16 in round three, 8 in round four, 4 in round five, and 2 in round six.

As we said, some things have changed. We’re doing away with tournament brackets this year. Instead, entries will be matched up based on target audience and genre. We'll continue grouping that way until it's no longer possible.

If you secure a spot in the tournament, your query and the first 250 words of your manuscript (to the end of a complete sentence) will be pitted against another query and first 250 words. Judges will read each match-up and vote 'Victory' on the best entry. Remember, this is subjective. Considering last year, votes may come down to personal tastes.

The entry with the most ‘victories’ at the end of the round will advance to the next round until only one champion remains. 

This year the agent round will be held after the first round. That mean 32 entries will make it into the agent round. 32!

Of course, there's a twist!

The agent round will be conducted in secret. And by secret, we mean TOP SECRET. Entrants won't know who requested what—or how much—until that entrant has been eliminated from the contest.

On the plus side, winners of the first round will be able to resubmit their entry prior to the agent round. So, any feedback the judges give can be implemented before the agents see your work.

Who’s Invited to Submit:

The Query Kombat tournament is open only to unagented writers seeking representation. Your manuscript must be complete, polished, and ready to submit. If your manuscript has already been in the agent round of another contest, you are not eligible to participate in Query Kombat. Please don’t try to sneak in. The QK team includes about fifty people and a few hundreds of spectators. Someone will notice and inform us. Submissions for Picture Books, MG, YA, NA, and Adult works will be accepted. Only one entry per person. Do not attempt to submit more than one entry by using different email accounts. Again, the QK family is huge. Someone will notice.

Submissions

The submission window will open on May 22nd at 5:30 PM Eastern time and close in ONE hour. Repeat: YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO ENTER ONLY. The window closes at 6:30PM.

We will have email confirmation. If you don't receive it within an hour of submitting your entry, contact us via twitter and let us know. You may submit entries for (a maximum of) two manuscripts (in the same email) but we will only consider the second entry on the last day of the submission window. Kontestants will be revealed on May 30th, and the tournament will kick off on June 1st.

IMPORTANT: The Query Kombat team reserves the right to disqualify any entrant at any time for any reason. If an entrant is disqualified before the agent round, an alternate will take its place. If an entrant is disqualified after the agent round, the opposing entry will automatically advance to the next round. The only time we will ever disqualify an applicant is if you say or do something to blemish the spirit of query contests. Query Kombat is supposed to be fun… 

So none of this!

In order to enter the contest you MUST follow formatting guidelines, and submit during the contest window. All entries that follow said guidelines will be considered. 

In the event that we receive more than the available 64 spots (this is highly expected), Michelle, SC, and I will savagely attack the slush pile in attempts to build the best team. We will pick (and announce) three alternates in case a submission is disqualified.

Entries should be sent to:  QueryKombat (at) gmail (dot) com. The email address has changed from last year. Be mindful of that.

Formatting Guidelines:

Font: Times New Roman (or an equivalent), 12pt font, single-spaced with spaces between each paragraph. No (I repeat: NO!) indentations.

 

Subject line of the Email: A short, unique nickname for your entry [colon] your genre (audience included). Do not skip this step or your entry will be deleted. (ex. I Fell in Love with a Ken Doll: Adult Erotica)

For the nickname, make it as unique as possible so that there are no duplicates. These will be the names used in the tournament (or an abbreviated version if it's too long) so keep it PG-13 and try to have it relate to your story in some way.

In the body of the email (with examples):

Title: Eunuchs and Politics

Name: Michael Anthony

Email address: myboyfriendwasbittenbyashark (at) gmail (dot) com.

Entry Nickname: I Fell in Love with a Ken Doll

Word count: 68K

Genre: Adult Erotica

Query: 

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A KEN DOLL tells the harrowing story of Barbra B. Doll, a US senator who goes against country, family, and the Illumaniti to be with an amateur surfer with no genitalia. 

First 250 words:

Words, words, and more words.

Don't include the chapter title and please, don't stop in the middle of a. Do not include a bio or comp title.

All queries submitted are FINAL. We will not edit them in any way, shape, or form. Please read, reread, and rereread your submission before you hit send. You have several weeks to polish your work. Take advantage of it. Competition will be fierce.

Host Blogs

Because the immense amount of work ahead of us, the tournament will be hosted on three separate blogs. In order to enter the contest, you MUST following all Michael and Michelle's blogs and sign up for SC's monthly newsletter concerning his 'Write Inclusively' campaign. All three blogs will host the first round and agent round. The second round will be hosted by Michael and SC. The third round will be hosted by Michelle. The fourth round will be hosted by SC. The fifth round will be hosted by Michael. The final round will be hosted by Michelle. Have no fear, each blog will have links to all rounds so you will not get lost.

Agents and judges will be revealed soon. (As of now we have 15ish agents and 30 judges!)

Questions can be left in the comments and I'll answer them as quickly as possible. Best of luck in the tournament!

A Query Kombat Success: Mary Ann

Contests aren't just about landing an agent. They're about learning as well. If you participate in a contest but don't learn anything, you're doing something wrong. Mary Ann is a prime example of doing things right. She participated in Query Kombat and, with what she learned, went on to accomplish a dream. Here's a piece of her story...

In 2013, my karate instructor asked me: "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?" The answer came easy: write a novel. He said, “Do it.”

So the next month, I entered Nanowrimo and churned out a total piece of crap. Writing that first novel taught me things about craft, about my own voice and style, and mainly about my own capacity for barfing out a ton of words at a single go. I badly wanted that book to be good enough, so I revised and revised and revised until it wasn’t completely terrible.

Not knowing any better, I entered novel #1 in contests. I entered it into Pitch Madness and didn’t get in. I revised and entered it in Nest Pitch and didn’t get in. I revised and entered it in Pitch Slam and didn’t get in. Undaunted, I revised and revised, learning more and more about what works and what doesn’t.

When I entered Query Kombat in the Spring of 2014, I was seriously on the verge of giving up on this pipe dream. I mean, obviously I couldn’t compete with all those “real” writers. I fully expected another rejection. But the wonderful SC picked me to be on his team (Writerbees!), boosting my morale by letting me know I was getting closer. It didn’t even matter that I got knocked out in the first round. Query Kombat was a career-changing experience for me. (Thanks SC!)

As a bonus, the query I wrote for this contest resulted in my first full request (and it came on the day the Query Kombat entries went live). So as I watched my QK entry get KOed, I was doing a happy jig.

As a super-double atomic-powered bonus, I found friends and CPs for life by connecting with a QK teammate and, true story, with the same girl who knocked me out in the first round.

By the time I realized novel #1 was doomed, I’d managed to learn how to write a decent query, get requests, and get accepted into contests. But deep in my heart, I knew novel #1 was my practice novel. My trunk novel. My "one day I'll know how to fix you novel." I needed to move on.

So I buckled down and pounded out novel #2. Thanks to my new incredible CPs, I finished it just in time to enter it into Pitch Wars. I was surprised and delighted to be picked by my amazing mentor, Jaime Loren, who helped me revamp that sucker into a novel I’m truly proud of. And while my entry did great during the agent round, Pitch Wars didn’t lead to an offer. And in fact, cold querying that novel landed me one single solitary request.

In December, I put novel #2 into a metaphorical Viking boat, cast it off to sea, and shot it with a flaming arrow. I love that book, but it wasn't the one.

Fortunately, I’d already started novel #3 before Pitch Wars selections were announced in September. I finished drafting in November (yeah Nano!), revised three times in December, and began querying at the end of January.

This time things went faster. I'd barely dipped my toes into the query waters when I got a number of requests. I entered Agent Query and threw out some twitter pitches which resulted in a few more requests. Coming full circle, I entered Pitch Madness.

However, I ended up dropping out before picks were made because…

After a month of obsessively refreshing my email and trying to read the Query Tracker tea leaves, I heard the panic-inducing “You have mail” ringtone associated with my author email account.

Now, I have a tendency to band-aid rip whenever I get a reply from an agent. I immediately scan for keywords like “unfortunately” and “subjective” on the one hand or “happy” and “please attach” on the other, so I can brace myself for a rejection or psych myself up for a request (or maybe, at long last, an offer). So when this email began with "Please forgive me," I blew a raspberry. And then read: “...for taking a while to get back to you.” I made myself read the words in the letter in sequential order and discovered that it looked suspiciously like an offer. The agent I had cold queried explained that one of the other agents at the agency loved my novel and wanted to work with me.

I spent the next four hours trying to piece together a coherent sentence to let them know I was thrilled. I wondered if it was possible to screw that up so badly the whole thing would go poof.

The contract came at the same time as the invitation to talk, so I went into The Call with an offer in hand, which meant the ball was in my court to make sure she was right for me. That put me at ease and stressed me out all at the same time.

I'd love to share all the details of the actual call, but it's shrouded in the fog of war. I had my list of questions to ask, and ask I did. And she had all the right answers. I hung up the phone ready to sign the contract and send it back, but I had outstanding materials with other agents.

I took the requisite week to get my ducks in a row, got more requests, some rejections, an offer to revise and resubmit, and another offer of representation from a second very lovely agent. If she'd been the only one offering, I would have taken her offer with no hesitation.

But I had a decision to make. I knew I couldn't really go wrong either way. Both agencies were highly reputable. The clients of both agents had nothing but glowing praise to offer. Both agents said lovely things about my novel. And both had ideas for revisions.

In the end, I went with my gut. I felt that the first offering agent's vision for my book and my career more closely lined up with my own. (Also, I have a major crush on this agency.) And so, I happily, accepted representation from Rachel Stout at Dystel and Goderich.

I’m a computer programmer, nerd, and writer of contemporary romance, based in central Virginia. When I’m not writing, I do karate with my kids and read my friends’ unpublished novels in Word doc form. Theoretically, I love to travel but until I find a patron to fund my trip around the world, I placate my wanderlust by letting my characters hop on a plane and hang out in Paris. I’m a contest veteran of Query Kombat and Pitch Wars in 2014. My website is www.maryannmarlowe.com.

Query Kombat: May 22nd, 2015

NoQS Wrap Up

I want to take a moment to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who made Nightmare on Query Street a success. Agents, mentors, Co-hosts, and entrants, you are all AWESOME. We had a grand total of 81 requests from just 39 entries!!!

Unfortunately, despite my all-star team, we were bested by SC and Michelle. No worries thought. We'll clap for them now, but there's always...

Next year

***************************************************

Hey! What's that....down there...

It's an elephant...in a blog!

Everyone didn't get requests. That was one of my biggest fears when I was searching for entries. Admittedly, that fear was very real for me. I didn't JUST pick entries that I knew were going to get attention. I also picked entries that I felt DESERVED attention. Do I regret it? HELL NO! And you can quote me on that. I believe in all of my Monsters, and I know each of you will succeed. So, if you didn't get a request (or didn't get as many as you thought you would) just remember, a setback is a setup for a comeback.





Now, to the important stuff. My personal awards for my Monstrous Team.

Heartstrings Award: For Those Who Listen
 Mark, from the moment I read your query, I knew this would be one of those stories that pulled at my heartstrings. I'm a sucker for coming-of-age stories that deal with heavy topics. Your query pulled me right in, and your first 250 sealed the deal. There was never a moment where I doubted whether or not I wanted  you on my team. I hope to see a success story from you in the near future

Most Valuable Query Award: Autonomy

 Standing ovation to Clay, the official Monster MVP. I loved your query, but your first page is really what did it for me. Your voice and pacing is on point. You description is very well balanced, and even without reading your query, I would be very eager to keep reading. I wish you nothing but the best of luck, and I hope you get the pick of the litter when the requests start rolling in.

Personal Favorite Award: Superfail
 You were my last pick. I found you in one of the other host's 'maybe' folder. I'm not going to lie, I was a little afraid. You are the first graphic novel I've ever come across so I had absolutely no way of knowing if the formatting was correct, what was supposed to be included, etc. Even then, I knew this was something special. I really threw caution to the wind when it came to your entry because, dammit it was SO good and clever and funny. I want to read this, so give me a shout when it hits shelves. I don't expect to have to wait too long.

BOO Award: The Othersiders
 When I read Bureau of Otherside Occurrences and realized what the acronym was, I couldn't stop laughing. It's soooo perfect for this contest, and for your story. With my Halloween spirit on overdrive and your entry sounding like the perfect story to satisfy my fix, I needed it on my team. Mere, I wish you the best of luck with all your requests. Keep us in the look with your inevitable success story.

Spin A Phrase Award: The Emerald Eye
 Anne, you can spin a phrase like it's nobody's business. The picture you paint with your voice alone is phenomenal, and quite frankly, I'm stunned at the results of the agent round. I truly believe that we just didn't have the right agent in our arsenal to see your brilliance. I'm sure this isn't your first rodeo where agents are concerned, but don't give up. You have a exceptional story.

Loud Brilliance Award: Grandma Has Murder on her Mind
 I had a Quiet Brilliance award last year, but there nothing quiet about the brilliance of this entry. From your voice to your writing style, to your wit and humor, this cozy mystery has the full package. Alexis, you've got a gem here, and I wish more contest agents could have seen that. That being said, we only had a fraction of them participate. I'm certain others will see the brilliance of your story.

Ghoulish First Page Award: No Shortcuts
 Sheila, your first page was scary good! You perfectly captured the MG voice. I am TELLING were easily the three scariest words to hear as a child. I loved your premise, and as a sucker for time-travel, I'm eager to see what's in store for Sarah.

Humor Award:Mrs. Peterman's Bentley
 I think your main character is hilarious. She's like Mr. Wilson and the Bentley is Dennis the Menace. I'm super curious to know what Dennis the Menace would be like if aliens/alien tech was involved. I'm sure Mrs. Peterman's a riot. Best of luck with this!

Voice Award: The Midnight Flight of the Salem Magi
 Elliot, the voice in your query was the single-handed reason picking your entry for my team was a no brainer. It fits perfectly with your audience, and your opening line pulled me in and refused to let go. The fact that you threw in some history really sealed the deal. After reading your last line, I'm curious to know what comes next!

Never-Give-Up Award: Masquerade
 Michella, part of me always feels terrible when an entry doesn't get a request. When I choose entries for a contest, I don't take trends or agent wishlists into consideration because I believe that you're never really prepared for a phenomenal story, and that's what I think your story is. I wouldn't have picked it otherwise. Don't let these results get you down. There is an agent out there for you, and I'll be looking for your story on shelves every time I make a trip to the library.

Fear Award: The Pirate King and I
 You first page definitely deserves the fear award. Rita, your opening scene builds the suspense and fear felt in the moment flawlessly. As a huge fan of history--and pirates--you had me at your title. The rest was just icing on the cake. I wish you the best of luck with your career as a writer. I hope it's long and full of booty. Aarg! 


Adventure Award: Game On
 Rebecca, wow. You have successfully combined my two favorite pastimes (reading and video games) and mashed them into one exciting read. I'm super eager to see what adventures Jared, Aaron, and Maxine must venture through in order to shut down the game. Step aside Wreck-It Ralph, there's a new team of heroes in town!

Quiet Brilliance Award: Shade and Shadow
 I loved your first page. You voice was spot on and I liked Ari and her mom right out the gate. Even though I knew there were a lot of ghost stories out there, I felt yours was different from the ones I read, and I hoped NoQS agents would see that too. I was wrong, but that doesn't mean I was wrong :o) You've got a great story on your hands and the voice to tell it well. We didn't have the right agents for your genre, but I'm positive the right agent is out there. Don't give up. You've got a team of Monster that believe in you.

*

To all my Monsters: I wish you the best of luck with all your life and publishing endeavors. I chose each of your because I thought your writing was something special. Don't quit, don't give up, and don't compromise yourself just because others don't see your brilliance. You see it and I see it, but the former is all that matters.

If there's anything I can help you with, shoot me an email via my blog's 'contact me' page. I'll do my best to help.

:D

The Agent Round is Here!!!

NIGHTMARE ON QUERY STREET IS HERE!!

Are you guys excited? BECAUSE WE ARE!!

Below this post, you'll find the thirteen Monsters I picked for my team! 

You can head over to SC's and Michelle's blogs as well. (You don't really have too. We all know I have the winning team)

My team is so amazing...

Sorry everyone, but no commenting, cheerleading, etc. Only agents will be able to comment.

BUT

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

CHEER OVER ON TWITTER! We're going to be under the hashtag #NoQS and we will be having FUN. So vent, be nervous, cheer each other on, and hold hands over Twitter. One of the best parts of contests is seeing how the writer's community gathers and supports each other.

I'll be looking for all my Monsters there. I expect you to be roaring louder than the Minions and Spooks. We're MONSTERS. That's what we do!

For the next two days, agents will have fun ways to request in the contest.

They can SCREAM for a full request.
They can SHRIEK for a 50 page request.
They can SHIVER for a 10 page request.

And agents can make as many requests as they want! So go wild! We have some awesome talent for you to peruse.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!! Hope you all get a ton of frighteningly amazing requests!

And remember: Monsters Rule, Minions and Spooks drool!

NoQS Agent Round: MASQUERADE: YA Fantasy

Title: MASQUERADE

Genre: YA Fantasy

Word Count: 80,000

My Main Character’s Most Fearsome Obstacle:

Jules’ most fearsome obstacle is her own grief. It overwhelms her to the point she’d rather not feel anything (conceal don’t feel…). She’s locked herself into a tiny Jules-sized hole where she plots her revenge, convinced it will bring her happiness. Because she’s been this way for years, she fears that she can’t change her ways now. She doesn’t know who she would be without the grief and the anger and the perpetual scowling.

Jules also fears: warm hugs, goat milk, and pet wolves that want their bellies rubbed.

Query:

The city of Ronan has been purged of magic. Queen Isabella likes to think so, anyway. But when Isabella murdered seven-year-old Jules’ parents, she unknowingly created a monster. Now grown, Jules has revenge on her mind and spent her life training to accomplish her murderous goal. Born of magical parents but completely ordinary, crafting herself into the perfect assassin is all she knows.

Unfortunately, when her plans go to hell on day two because of petty larceny, some swords, and a snooty prince, Jules needs to regroup. Enter Ulric, a magician, and his daughter, the larcenist. As fate would have it, they want Queen Isabella dead, too. In fact, Ulric has a whole crew of magicians ready to go into battle and take back the city. They just need Jules’ help to get themselves into fighting shape.

As Jules trains and plots alongside them, bodies are turning up at an alarming rate, only crystalizing her resolve. This has to be Isabella’s work. However, Mr. Snooty Prince doesn’t think so and as their paths continue to cross around every plague-infested corner, Jules is terrified to admit she might be falling for her target’s son. Worse, what if he’s right and the bodies don’t trace back to the castle? Jules thought she had her lines clearly defined: magic, good; queen, evil. But now she’s not so sure and in too deep, with the way out eleven years behind her.

First 250 Words:


 
The Wanted posters were still up.

What a homecoming, Jules thought, and such attention to detail. She tore the damned drawing from its tree, cringing at the sight of her seven-year-old toothy grin.

She kept moving, forcing the creeping feeling of familiarity into oblivion. She had not returned to Ronan for sentimental reasons. She was here for a job, though that was technically untrue as no one was paying her. But if Jules looked hard enough, she could have found several people willing to dole out a fortune for the swift murder of Queen Isabella.

Just no one dumb enough. Killing queens was a hard business and even Jules knew enough to avoid a suicide mission.

This was revenge.

The cottages seemed smaller, but she also wasn’t four feet tall anymore. Children were running barefoot, laughing and shrieking, probably to distract themselves from the rattling of their stomachs. Cruel really, when the market was just ahead and smelled as enticing as new sewage did (which was better than old sewage).

A ball landed in her path. The kids skidded to a halt.

Jules imagined she didn’t look very approachable, with a permanent scowl and numerous blades hanging off her. She straightened her spine and stepped around the villainous red orb, as if it were Isabella reborn and not a harmless plaything.

The dirt path bled into the cobblestones and then she was in the market. Her feet ached from the journey—she’d had to sell her horse halfway through—and now they were being trampled on. Joy.

NoQS Agent Round: THE PIRATE KING AND I: YA Historical Adventure

Name: R.S. Kovach

Title: THE PIRATE KING AND I

Genre: Young-Adult (YA) Historical Adventure

Word Count: 71,000

 

My Main Character’s Most Fearsome Obstacle:

 

I’m just a simple maid in 18^th century Panama, faithfully serving the local admiral’s daughter. When pirates attack our home, I act without forethought and offer myself up in her place. Only then do I fear for my own safety. Will these scoundrels kill me? Or worse! Are they looking to have their way with me, doing whatever such filth do for their own pleasure? Luckily, they work for the infamous Pirate King, who’s only looking for a rich ransom. All I have to do is continue the ruse, but it’s getting harder by the day. I’m getting used to this rogue lifestyle, and perhaps to the charming captain, himself. As the days pass, I no longer fear death, but rather, playing my part too well. If they get their intended reward, I’ll surely have to leave the adventures behind.

 

Query:

 

He just wants her booty, but she’ll end up stealing his heart.

 

After pirates kidnap seventeen-year-old Ana in a case of mistaken identity, the orphaned housemaid prepares for the worst. Instead, playing the wholesome daughter of a Spanish admiral among rag-tag buccaneers becomes the least of her concerns.

 

Battles, a shipwreck, mutiny, and most unexpectedly, love are what really turn her world upside down. When the truth threatens to end Ana’s adventures, it’s the secrets of the dashing Alestair Kincade, Pirate King of the Caribbean, that prove to be the most dangerous.

 

Ana will need to use her wits and charm to not only stay off the gallows, but also to avoid a fate she now considers to be worse than death: being sent home to Panama to a hopeless future.

 

First 250:

 

All I can see are their boots, but I can tell these men are savages. They’ve been at it non-stop ever since they’ve broken into the manor: rummaging through drawers, overturning furniture, and occasionally ferreting out one of the residents from their hiding spot.

 

They found Señora Ayala, the cook, first. From the sounds of it, the poor woman tried to ward them off with one of her copper pots, but it didn’t do any good. She was still screaming when they dragged her out into the courtyard. Only the harsh bang of a pistol could silence her.

 

The footman, scullery maid, and laundress met the same fate. I pray to God the servants who lived outside the great house had more time to escape.

 

Huddled under the bed, I draw myself smaller as a man runs past, stomping down the stairs two at a time. There’s a distinct rattle of porcelain before a newly heated exchange. “Qué pasó?” Someone asks angrily as dishes crash to the floor.

 

Cringing, I know they’ve most likely just destroyed my mistress’ bone china. It’s a shame. The one with the little, blue flowers was always her favorite.

 

“We ain’t here for no picnic,” the same man continues to yell, switching languages. “Leave that, you feckin’ idiot.”

 

“No, señor. Lo siento, señor,” another stutters, the fear palpable in his voice.

 

There’s a muffled boom, and a shiver runs through me. I wish I knew what they were looking for. I’d do anything to give it to them just to make them stop.

NoQS Agent Round: SUPERFAIL: MG Humor

Title: SUPERFAIL

Genre: MG Humor

Word Count: 20,000

My Main Character's Most Fearsome:

Marshall Preston's most fearsome obstacle is his right eye. Not only does everyone make fun of him for being cross-eyed, but when one of your super powers is shooting lasers from your eyes, an eyeball that’s off just a little can cause a whole lot of problems.

Query:

Laser vision isn't so hot when you're cross-eyed. Supersonic flight's a downer when motion sickness keeps you grounded. Marshall Preston's a Defective, a person with superhuman abilities that are counteracted by some very human setbacks.

While other kids are recruited into superhero teams, Marshall's stuck in seventh grade with a kid who can run at super speed but can't stop, another with a radioactive peanut allergy that turns him into a swollen Hulk, and a slow-witted telepath who reads everyone's thoughts out loud.

Defectives aren't exactly superhero material, but when Marshall uncovers a plot to destroy one of the greatest superhero teams of all time, he and his less-than-super friends set out to prove just because you're a Defective doesn't mean you can't be a hero.

Completed at 20,000 words, Superfail is the graphic novel-esque middle grade book that emerged after I tossed a copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and some Marvel comics into a vat of radioactive goo. It is aimed at a superhero-loving audience (from 10 and up) and has the potential to be the first of a series.

First 250 words:

I hate my super powers.

Flying at high speed over a city and shooting lasers out of your eyes might sound pretty awesome but trust me, it’s not. Not for me. My super powers are more like a super curse.

Let me explain.

This is me trying to use my laser vision.

(Illus. Marshall shoots his lasers at a target and one of the beams hits a cat off to the side.

Arrow 1: Me [AKA Marshall].

Arrow 2: My target.

Arrow 3: Catburger.)

Shooting lasers out of my eyes would be a pretty sweet power if I wasn’t cross-eyed.

Get the picture? The worst part is that was our neighbor’s cat. When my parents find out they’ll probably sentence me to fifteen to life in my room. At least I’ll have some muscles when I get out. Everyone knows the only thing to do in prison is lift weights. I’ll probably have a sweet beard too.

(Illus. An older Marshall in a jumpsuit is lifting weights.

Arrow 1: Muscles.

Arrow 2: Sweet beard.)

So why don’t I just close one eye and only shoot my good laser?

(Illus. Marshall with one eye closed. The laser burns right through his eyelid.

Marshall: AAAHHH! This is so much more painful than it looks!)

Turns out your eyelids can’t stop a high-powered laser. Who knew?

NoQS Agent Round: FOR THOSE WHO LISTEN:YA Contemp.

Title: FOR THOSE WHO LISTEN

Genre: YA Contemporary

Word Count: 51,000

My Main Character's Most Fearsome Obstacle:

Aidan's not afraid of jumping off the Ben Franklin Bridge—what really frightens him is living. He's been working up the balls to jump since his dad committed suicide a year ago on Christmas, and at this point, death looks like the only option to escape his grief. He expects it to be difficult—but what he doesn't expect are the two other teens who show up at the bridge with intentions to die on the same night.

Query:

It's two hours to Christmas, a hurricane is brewing, and seventeen-year-old Aidan is going to jump off the Ben Franklin Bridge. Really, he's got perfect timing—his dad did the same exactly a year ago, and in his mind it'll be the present his mom, who's already moved on, always wanted. But then he realizes he's not alone. Two other teens had the same idea.

Out of empathy for their spectacularly horrible situations, Aidan talks them down and tries to escort them home. But when the storm forces the three to take shelter under a closed-for-the-holiday supermarket's awning, shy transgender boy Chris helps them break into the store. While waiting out the hurricane, Aidan and Chris bond over food fights with bread products and trust falls off aisle dividers, while Mara flirts with Aidan by quoting Sylvia Plath and indie rock. For a moment it doesn't matter that they'll all have to face their families when the rain stops; for the first time in a while, Aidan feels alive.

But when Chris and Mara fight, things quickly turn hostile. Soon he and Mara are at each other's throats, and all three begin to rethink not dying when they first tried. So when Chris tries to die a second time, Aidan and Mara have to work through their animosity to help save his life—and their own in the process.

Told from Aidan's, Chris's, and Mara's points of view, FOR THOSE WHO LISTEN is a YA contemporary novel complete at 51,000 words.

First 250 words:

Between the screaming of my thoughts and the wind, I almost didn't notice two other people trying to kill themselves alongside me.

My body convulsed, a constant and slightly annoying reminder that I was, in fact, doing this very thing I'd dreamed of for a year. When I regained control of my muscles and turned my head in the direction of the oblivious passing cars, I noticed the first person, a girl. Close enough so I could make out her face through the hair whipping all around. Her expression was painted in shades of shadow and abject terror, and perfect black sneakers with cherry-red laces tied in big bows peered out over the ledge like scared kids from under a blanket. On my left, someone else—short and silhouetted—stood, but seeing this one wasn't as big a shock after the first. Mostly a pang of pity took precedence where the nausea had been in my stomach.

What were they doing here? Well, I knew the answer, but why did they want to die two hours to Christmas? Most people I knew were ironically waiting for Santa; why weren't they?

Why wasn't I?

I jerked my head back down and decided two things: what they did was none of my business, and I would not lose my resolve. They were just two other people actively trying to die like me. Two other lost, confused, lonely people who were fed up with the world and trying to leave it. And much as I only wished harm to myself, I had no right to stop them.

NoQS Agent Round: GAME ON: Upper MG Mystery/Sci fi

Title: GAME ON! (previously MASH-UP)

Genre: Upper Middle Grade Mystery/Science Fiction

Word Count: 67,700 

My Main Character's Most Fearsome Obstacle:

My most fearsome obstacle?  My little sister, Maxine. 

Normally, Maxine was just annoying, but one day my science teacher handed out these sunglasses that turned everyone wearing them into their favorite avatar.  Imagine a mash-up of every popular video game character out there taking over your school.  Awesome!  My gaming bud, Aaron, and I were psyched for an epic battle.  But Maxine freaked and set off to shut down the game.  Then Aaron admitted he thought Maxine was cute and she brainwashed him into helping her rather than hanging with me.  Not cool. 

My little sister – such a nightmare.

Query:

Twelve-year-old Jared lives for video games. Science? Not so much. So when he walks into school to find his science teacher handing out sunglasses as part of a marketing trial, he’s suspicious. The sunglasses seem like just a cool accessory until the system that runs them is secretly activated. Suddenly, everyone wearing them appears as their favorite game avatar. Laser guns, fireballs, and swords arm Thompson Middle School for a real life video game mash-up. It’s Jared’s dream come true.

But before Jared can jump into the fray, he has to find his little sister. Maxine’s a bookworm, not a gamer. Her straight-A report card won’t help her fend off the ninjas and space marines battling in the halls. Jared would love to see Maxine try to take on the gamers, but Mom’s punishment would be extreme…no electronics. When Jared finds Maxine, she refuses to hide. She’s decided the game is trouble, and searches for a way to shut it down. She’s even crazy enough to expect Jared’s help.

Jared’s first instinct is to stick her someplace safe so he can play. But as the school descends into chaos and people vanish, Jared has a decision to make: get his game on, or help his little sister on her mission to take down the Best. Game. Ever.

First 250:

Lots of guys called themselves gamers, but how serious were they? Me, I was dead serious.

When my best bud, Aaron, and I started playing LEGO: The Lord of the Rings, I read the books. Yeah, that was plural. The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King. That’s a lot of pages.

My first plan was to watch the movies, but Mom didn’t go for it. “We’ll buy the DVD’s as a reward after you read the books,” she’d said.

Most guys would’ve given up right there. They’d play the game clueless, never knowing what was coming. Not me. After reading the books and watching the movies, I was pretty much a Lord of the Rings expert. Everyone at school who plays the game comes to me when they get stuck.

But today was Tuesday. There were four full school days until Aaron and I could get into a serious game marathon. The weight of class time and homework between me and Friday afternoon made my feet drag.

I trudged through the steel doors of Thompson Middle School, then froze. Aaron slammed into my back, then followed my gaze to the center of the lobby and snorted.

My tall, balding, evil science teacher stood there wearing rock star sunglasses. Black ones, with mirrored lenses and frames that wrapped around the sides. Mr. Sykes held a second pair high over his head. He yelled something I couldn’t make out over the start-of-school-day confusion, but a crowd of kids stood listening to him.

NoQS Agent Round: NO SHORTCUTS: MG Sci fi

Title: NO SHORTCUTS
Genre: MG science fiction
Word Count: 42,000

My Main Character's Most Fearsome Obstacle:

“My most fearsome obstacle?” That would be my big sister, Mann. She only pays attention to me if I grab her phone. I need it for homework, but when I slightly-accidentally peeked at her messages, she went ballistic. I've been thinking a lot about that since I got caught in this stupid interdimensional rift. I feel guilty for bugging Mann so much, especially because I've just realized something: my only way home is to get Mann to listen to me. And she's going to be mad. Nothing, not even the rift, is scarier than a mad Mann.

Query:

Fifth grade didn't teach Sarah how to be homeless. She had to figure it out herself. The worst part isn't that she has to steal food or sleep in a doghouse; it’s that everyone who knows her is disappearing.

The only person left who can help is the last person she’d choose: Mr. Gomes, the crazy old man who shouts at squirrels and pops your ball if it lands on his lawn. But he’s got a spare room, hot food, and a plan for Sarah to get her life back.

A Cold War weapon Gomes invented is eroding the barriers between worlds, causing Sarah to wake each morning in a different version of her hometown. When Gomes tested the weapon 35 years ago, he also created another anomaly: time wells opened up near the test site, connecting Sarah’s present-day town to that fateful morning in 1981. Now Gomes is desperate to send Sarah on a mission – back to her own dimension, and back in time – to stop his younger self.

All Sarah needs to do is jump back to 1981, take on paranoid military bosses in their secure compound, and enlist the help of her own seriously annoyed big sister who gets dragged along for the ride. If Sarah can stop the weapon, the old man swears she’ll get home: right time, right dimension. If she fails, millions more people will end up just like her, never waking in the same world twice. 

First 250:

I am not hard to get along with. Honest. But the last time I ever walked home with Mann, the way she shouted at me, you'd think I was the most annoying sister in the universe. Ok, so I probably shouldn't have messed with her phone. And I could've been more helpful putting up posters. But you can’t blame me for stomping on the ice-puddles.

They only crunch like this right at the end of winter, so you've got to do them when you see them. The wide puddles with white ice make the best pops, big and hollow like a drum. The shallow ones you can just scuff through and they crack like Rice Krispies. I had a whole string of them lined up and ready when my sister screamed at me like she was being mauled. If you ask me, sixth-graders get way too worked-up about stuff.

“SARAH! Come ON!” Mann was way ahead, leaning against the next telephone pole, holding the flapping poster with one hand. “If you don't quit it and start helping me, I am TELLING!”

“Just four more!” I jumped through them snap-crackle-pop like hopscotch, then I ran as fast as I could. When I reached her I was panting.

Mann stuck her hand out, back over her shoulder. “Thumbtacks.” 

I rattled the box out of my backpack, chose four to drop into her palm and watched her spear the poster at the corners. She stood back to look at it and wiped her hands on her jeans.