NoQS Agent Round: SUPERFAIL: MG Humor

Title: SUPERFAIL

Genre: MG Humor

Word Count: 20,000

My Main Character's Most Fearsome:

Marshall Preston's most fearsome obstacle is his right eye. Not only does everyone make fun of him for being cross-eyed, but when one of your super powers is shooting lasers from your eyes, an eyeball that’s off just a little can cause a whole lot of problems.

Query:

Laser vision isn't so hot when you're cross-eyed. Supersonic flight's a downer when motion sickness keeps you grounded. Marshall Preston's a Defective, a person with superhuman abilities that are counteracted by some very human setbacks.

While other kids are recruited into superhero teams, Marshall's stuck in seventh grade with a kid who can run at super speed but can't stop, another with a radioactive peanut allergy that turns him into a swollen Hulk, and a slow-witted telepath who reads everyone's thoughts out loud.

Defectives aren't exactly superhero material, but when Marshall uncovers a plot to destroy one of the greatest superhero teams of all time, he and his less-than-super friends set out to prove just because you're a Defective doesn't mean you can't be a hero.

Completed at 20,000 words, Superfail is the graphic novel-esque middle grade book that emerged after I tossed a copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and some Marvel comics into a vat of radioactive goo. It is aimed at a superhero-loving audience (from 10 and up) and has the potential to be the first of a series.

First 250 words:

I hate my super powers.

Flying at high speed over a city and shooting lasers out of your eyes might sound pretty awesome but trust me, it’s not. Not for me. My super powers are more like a super curse.

Let me explain.

This is me trying to use my laser vision.

(Illus. Marshall shoots his lasers at a target and one of the beams hits a cat off to the side.

Arrow 1: Me [AKA Marshall].

Arrow 2: My target.

Arrow 3: Catburger.)

Shooting lasers out of my eyes would be a pretty sweet power if I wasn’t cross-eyed.

Get the picture? The worst part is that was our neighbor’s cat. When my parents find out they’ll probably sentence me to fifteen to life in my room. At least I’ll have some muscles when I get out. Everyone knows the only thing to do in prison is lift weights. I’ll probably have a sweet beard too.

(Illus. An older Marshall in a jumpsuit is lifting weights.

Arrow 1: Muscles.

Arrow 2: Sweet beard.)

So why don’t I just close one eye and only shoot my good laser?

(Illus. Marshall with one eye closed. The laser burns right through his eyelid.

Marshall: AAAHHH! This is so much more painful than it looks!)

Turns out your eyelids can’t stop a high-powered laser. Who knew?