QUERY KOMBAT 2014 IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!
Incredible congrats to co-authors Betsy Aldredge and Carrie DuBois for their winning entry, Shalom Sasquatch! Also, huge congrats to the runner-up Judy Clemens with her fantastic Tag, You're Dead.
Make SURE you click on all the authors' names and congratulate them on Twitter under #QueryKombat!
Stay tuned for the awards ceremony post and judges' thank you coming up soon!
CONGRATS AGAIN!
Jul 3, 2014
Jun 27, 2014
Query Kombat Round 4 Wrap Up
Round 4 of Query Kombat is over, and what a tough round it was. Kombatants stepped into the ring with their A-game, but sadly, four were eliminated. We are down to the final four kombatants. From nearly 230 to 4, these entrants have come a LONG way.
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round.
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
Round 5 will be hosted on Michelle's blog. It starts on June 28th and will run through June 29th. That's only two days people! FEEL FREE TO CHEERLEAD YOUR HEARTS OUT IN THIS ROUND AS LONG AS YOU DO SO RESPECTFULLY!
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round.
A Cozy for Geeks
Girl Destroys World
Tag, You're Dead
Shalom Sasquatch
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
CONGRATS to all who
made it. To those who didn't, you fought valiantly. You should be proud
of yourselves. Agent requests are posted on your Agent round entry.
(Remember to send 100 pages and put Query Kombat in your subject line.)
Best of luck combatants.
Round 5 match ups are listed below
Tag, You're Dead VS Girl Destroys World
Shalom Sasquatch VS A Cozy for Geeks
Jun 25, 2014
Query Kombat Round 4 Begins
Query Kombat Round 4 Has Begun. Judges... good luck. You're going to need it. We've got some tough match ups, and they're only going to get tougher.
A little refresher:
Tag, You're Dead VS BingBamBoomBFF
Shalom Sasquatch VS Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
A Cozy For Geeks VS Lavender Marriage
Making Boys Cry VS Girl Destroys World
Best of luck kombatants. However the cards fall, you all have done an excellent job
QK Round 4: Making Boys Cry VS Girl Destroys World
Entry Nickname: Making Boys Cry
Title: Virtual Rebel
Word Count: 90,000
Genre: Science Fiction
Query:
The warrior. It's a title 18-year-old Kali Ling earned bringing men to their knees -- inside video games.
As an athletic avatar for the Virtual Gaming League, Kali's living a better life than any college kid in 2054: ultimate fame, zero responsibility, and nonstop partying in L.A.'s hottest clubs. But when her teammate Nathan overdoses and Kali is named captain -- the first female one in history -- it's time to level up to adulthood.
Objectives for Quest "Grow Up and Kick Ass" include embracing her Chinese heritage and training with her team's latest recruit (whom she can't help picturing in nothing but a strategically placed controller). But just as she's ready to lead, Kali uncovers a sickening fact behind the sport she loves. Too many hours inside a realer-than-life virtual world drives gamers to drug addiction and insanity, and the industry has been whitewashing the truth for the sake of ratings.
For ratings? Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong.
Furious, Kali tackles a new kind of end boss: the venality of electronic sports. But the VGL unleashes its Back Down or Face Expulsion attack. As leader of her team, it's not just her future on the line, and as a female captain, thousands of girl gamers are counting on her to prove women can compete on the same level as men. But when the industry erases Nathan from its database and spits on his memory, Kali's rage jumps +20. Back down? Pffft.
Role model. Rebel. Either way, it's game over. Permanently.
First 250:
This wouldn't be the first time I died. Sure as hell wouldn't be the last, either. But while most watched this virtual world from the safe haven of reality, there was nowhere else I'd rather spend my Saturday night.
Crouched high on the tower's parapet, I overlooked a sea of wheat fields. The scent of lavender and taste of wheatgrass wove together in the air, drifting with the breeze that swept through my hair. I took a deep breath and smiled at the irony, as thick as the mountain air filling my lungs. Lavender. Wheat fields. Tranquility.
"Heaven," I whispered, chuckling to myself. "For those who'd love to fight in hell."
Movement in the fields caught my eye, down and right. A zigzag carved its way through the ten-foot tall stalks, heading straight for the tower. My smile widened. Maybe this sucker had the balls to take on Kali Ling.
The warrior.
I stilled inside. Even breaths. No fear. At the field's edge, the stalks trembled violently. The air filled with the rainstick rustling of brush and dry grass. Yes. Someone would emerge. I gripped the sword sheathed across my back and waited, muscles tight, mouth watering. Come on. Give me something. A brute. Six -- no -- seven feet tall, wielding a mace. Or an axe.
Give me anything.
A rabbit scurried out from the field. Nothing followed. The grass fluttered in the breeze. Birds chirped, nestled in the nearby sycamore trees. It was the rabbit, and only the rabbit.
For now.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Girl Destroys World
Title: MAGICK 7.0
Word count: 85,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
In fourteen-year-old Anne’s opinion, there are two kinds of quests: the kind that lead to unicorns and lollipops, and the kind that get you and everyone you love killed, horribly and painfully (possibly by zombie sharks). She knows this because her budding magick abilities have accidentally entangled her in a quest, and so far she hasn’t encountered any lollipops.
She could opt out, but then as per Paragraph 5 Subparagraph 3 of the Official Questing Regulations she’d be exiled forever and all of her friends would be tossed into a dungeon. She’d rather kiss a Steam Troll than let that happen.
Her task? Slay a silver dragon that doesn’t exist. In just three days. With only the guidance of a wizard with a platypus for an arm and a sassy holographic sparrow. It’s all pretty straightforward (“straightforward” being a relative term) until she meets Lord Oswald, a weirdo in a cryogenic chamber who wears a lab coat and comfortable loafers. As the duly licensed Antagonist, he should be trying to stop her. Instead, he swaps roles and steals her quest.
That’s when Anne learns she wasn’t on a mission to save the world, but to destroy it (so not exactly environmentally-friendly). And Lord Oswald seems more than happy to see it through to completion. With the atomic clock counting down, Anne must figure out why she’s suddenly the villain of her own quest and pray to all things platypus-related that her unstable magick can defeat Oswald’s ten-thousand-year-old “technology.”
If she stops him, she might yet become a HeroTM
If she doesn’t, everyone dies (in which case, definitely no lollipops).
First 250:
At Saint Lupin’s Institute for Perpetually Wicked and Hideously Unattractive Children they didn’t play favorites. Each orphan was treated with the same amount of disdain and neglect. They were provided with one threadbare tunic, one pair of ill-fitting shoes, and one dusty and moth-eaten overcoat. They were given a daily ration of gruel, and they were bathed exactly once per month, just before going on duty in the coal mine. This, incidentally, was consistent with the advice given in the popular self-help guide, How to Raise Orphans and Make Money.
There were three ways to leave Saint Lupin’s. The first was to get adopted. Perhaps by a nice family who would whisk you away to your long dreamed-of castle on a hill—one surrounded by forests and glens, filled with interesting and friendly people, rich with history and bright with promise and hope. The board of governors was extremely pleased with its track record in this regard as it had managed to prevent all adoptions since the Institute’s foundation.
The second way was to reach the age of fourteen and be unceremoniously kicked out on your bottom.
The third way was to embark upon a quest. Although quests were heavily regulated (so they could then be heavily taxed), there were no restrictions regarding age or background and thus anyone could apply. The secret to a successful application was first to fulfill a prophecy (also heavily taxed). At Saint Lupin’s, both of these topics, that is, quests and prophecies, were considered particularly taboo subjects of inquiry.
Title: Virtual Rebel
Word Count: 90,000
Genre: Science Fiction
Query:
The warrior. It's a title 18-year-old Kali Ling earned bringing men to their knees -- inside video games.
As an athletic avatar for the Virtual Gaming League, Kali's living a better life than any college kid in 2054: ultimate fame, zero responsibility, and nonstop partying in L.A.'s hottest clubs. But when her teammate Nathan overdoses and Kali is named captain -- the first female one in history -- it's time to level up to adulthood.
Objectives for Quest "Grow Up and Kick Ass" include embracing her Chinese heritage and training with her team's latest recruit (whom she can't help picturing in nothing but a strategically placed controller). But just as she's ready to lead, Kali uncovers a sickening fact behind the sport she loves. Too many hours inside a realer-than-life virtual world drives gamers to drug addiction and insanity, and the industry has been whitewashing the truth for the sake of ratings.
For ratings? Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong.
Furious, Kali tackles a new kind of end boss: the venality of electronic sports. But the VGL unleashes its Back Down or Face Expulsion attack. As leader of her team, it's not just her future on the line, and as a female captain, thousands of girl gamers are counting on her to prove women can compete on the same level as men. But when the industry erases Nathan from its database and spits on his memory, Kali's rage jumps +20. Back down? Pffft.
Role model. Rebel. Either way, it's game over. Permanently.
First 250:
This wouldn't be the first time I died. Sure as hell wouldn't be the last, either. But while most watched this virtual world from the safe haven of reality, there was nowhere else I'd rather spend my Saturday night.
Crouched high on the tower's parapet, I overlooked a sea of wheat fields. The scent of lavender and taste of wheatgrass wove together in the air, drifting with the breeze that swept through my hair. I took a deep breath and smiled at the irony, as thick as the mountain air filling my lungs. Lavender. Wheat fields. Tranquility.
"Heaven," I whispered, chuckling to myself. "For those who'd love to fight in hell."
Movement in the fields caught my eye, down and right. A zigzag carved its way through the ten-foot tall stalks, heading straight for the tower. My smile widened. Maybe this sucker had the balls to take on Kali Ling.
The warrior.
I stilled inside. Even breaths. No fear. At the field's edge, the stalks trembled violently. The air filled with the rainstick rustling of brush and dry grass. Yes. Someone would emerge. I gripped the sword sheathed across my back and waited, muscles tight, mouth watering. Come on. Give me something. A brute. Six -- no -- seven feet tall, wielding a mace. Or an axe.
Give me anything.
A rabbit scurried out from the field. Nothing followed. The grass fluttered in the breeze. Birds chirped, nestled in the nearby sycamore trees. It was the rabbit, and only the rabbit.
For now.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Girl Destroys World
Title: MAGICK 7.0
Word count: 85,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
In fourteen-year-old Anne’s opinion, there are two kinds of quests: the kind that lead to unicorns and lollipops, and the kind that get you and everyone you love killed, horribly and painfully (possibly by zombie sharks). She knows this because her budding magick abilities have accidentally entangled her in a quest, and so far she hasn’t encountered any lollipops.
She could opt out, but then as per Paragraph 5 Subparagraph 3 of the Official Questing Regulations she’d be exiled forever and all of her friends would be tossed into a dungeon. She’d rather kiss a Steam Troll than let that happen.
Her task? Slay a silver dragon that doesn’t exist. In just three days. With only the guidance of a wizard with a platypus for an arm and a sassy holographic sparrow. It’s all pretty straightforward (“straightforward” being a relative term) until she meets Lord Oswald, a weirdo in a cryogenic chamber who wears a lab coat and comfortable loafers. As the duly licensed Antagonist, he should be trying to stop her. Instead, he swaps roles and steals her quest.
That’s when Anne learns she wasn’t on a mission to save the world, but to destroy it (so not exactly environmentally-friendly). And Lord Oswald seems more than happy to see it through to completion. With the atomic clock counting down, Anne must figure out why she’s suddenly the villain of her own quest and pray to all things platypus-related that her unstable magick can defeat Oswald’s ten-thousand-year-old “technology.”
If she stops him, she might yet become a HeroTM
If she doesn’t, everyone dies (in which case, definitely no lollipops).
First 250:
At Saint Lupin’s Institute for Perpetually Wicked and Hideously Unattractive Children they didn’t play favorites. Each orphan was treated with the same amount of disdain and neglect. They were provided with one threadbare tunic, one pair of ill-fitting shoes, and one dusty and moth-eaten overcoat. They were given a daily ration of gruel, and they were bathed exactly once per month, just before going on duty in the coal mine. This, incidentally, was consistent with the advice given in the popular self-help guide, How to Raise Orphans and Make Money.
There were three ways to leave Saint Lupin’s. The first was to get adopted. Perhaps by a nice family who would whisk you away to your long dreamed-of castle on a hill—one surrounded by forests and glens, filled with interesting and friendly people, rich with history and bright with promise and hope. The board of governors was extremely pleased with its track record in this regard as it had managed to prevent all adoptions since the Institute’s foundation.
The second way was to reach the age of fourteen and be unceremoniously kicked out on your bottom.
The third way was to embark upon a quest. Although quests were heavily regulated (so they could then be heavily taxed), there were no restrictions regarding age or background and thus anyone could apply. The secret to a successful application was first to fulfill a prophecy (also heavily taxed). At Saint Lupin’s, both of these topics, that is, quests and prophecies, were considered particularly taboo subjects of inquiry.
Qk Round 4: A Cozy for Geeks VS Lavender Marriage
Entry Nickname: A Cozy for Geeks
Title: The Genuine Fake
Word Count: 75,030
Genre: Mystery Cozy
Query:
You'd have to be drunk or crazy to hire Dahlia Moss as a detective, and her client was conveniently both. Drunk was verifiable-- there was a wine glass in his hand. Crazy was self-evident: Dahlia had no experience, no money, and the only thing she'd been reliably good at finding were pink slips.
The details of the job only make it seem stranger. The client wants her to recover the Bejeweled Spear of Infinite Piercing, a powerful and breathtakingly gaudy weapon from the online game "Kingdoms of Zoth". The pay is insane, a thousand bucks just for looking, and double for finding it. Dahlia thinks the job is certifiable, but pragmatically signs on; two thousand bucks buys a lot of Ramen.
Her investigation takes her through the student slums of St. Louis and into the on-line jungles of Zoth, interviewing aggrieved gamers, drunken fire-mages, misogynist golems, and an extremely petulant tree. But just when she gets a handle on the case, her client turns up dead-- skewered by a 3-D printed replica of the very spear she was looking for.
Suddenly, the police are involved, and Dahlia is in the middle of a murder investigation. Gamers are showing at her doorstep, detectives are trailing her, and more 3-D printed spears are mysteriously showing up in the mail. It's exactly the wrong time to learn that her client's decision to hire her wasn't so random after all.
First 250:
The only time I ever met Jonah Long he was wearing a fake beard, a blue pinstripe captain's outfit and a toy pipe that blew soap bubbles. He did not seem like someone who was about to change my life.
"I have a proposition for you," he had told me. Admittedly, that does sound like the kind of thing a life changing person might say. It's right up there with "it's dangerous to go alone-- take this!" and "you are the chosen one." But a plastic bubble pipe really takes the edge off this sort of thing.
It was a nautical themed party, which partly explained his ridiculous outfit. I'd thought he was hitting on me. “I’m in a non-dating phase," I'd told him. Not entirely true, but I repeat: bubble pipe.
"A financial proposition, Dahlia."
I had no idea who he was. I was irked that he knew my name but it was clear from the way Charice was hovering over him that my roommate was involved. She was wearing an over-sized mermaid's outfit that made her look faintly seal-like-- especially with her mugging at me as Jonah spoke. Eh? Eh? I felt like I should throw a fish at her.
But really: what could I do? I had seventeen dollars and twenty three cents in my bank account at the time of this exchange, with less in savings. I could only use ATMs that dispensed tens. Despite my correct sense that Jonah was 1) ridiculous and 2) trouble, at the phrase "financial proposition" he had my undivided attention.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Lavender Marriage
Title: The Well-Adjusted Household
Word Count: 86,000
Genre: Adult Upmarket Fiction
Query:
Ben has been called a lot of things: doctor, husband, father, deviant, liar. His wife Alena calls him friend and her brother Iain calls him lover.
They live in Prohibition-era Pittsburgh and booze isn't the only thing that's illegal. Homosexuality is a felony and Ben and Iain don't care to spend the next ten years behind bars. Luckily, their sham marriages to Alena and her paramour Margaux are the perfect cover.
In public, they are the wealthy and powerful Blackburn family, heirs to a steel fortune. But behind closed doors, they are an improvised household of artificially conceived children and secret passageways between bedrooms. Everything is orchestrated. Nothing is as it seems.
When a conniving maid discovers their secret, Iain and Ben are arrested on charges of sodomy and homosexual behavior. The men and their constructed family are put on trial and it is up to their wives to convince the world of their “innocence.”
Their reputations, their fortune and the custody of their children all depend on this one, grand lie. They are well-aware that the truth will not set them free.
First 250:
“On your right!”
The bicycle appeared from around the corner while Ben was lost in thoughts of covalent bonds and chemical reactions. There was no time to avoid impact. His beakers hit the pavement first, followed by his face.
“Jesus Christ, I've killed him. Hello? Can you hear me?”
Ben rolled to his back, coughing from the impact. “Left. You were on my left.”
“Pardon?” The cyclist hovered over him, surveying the damage. “Goodness. You're bleeding.”
Ben sat up slowly, poking at his cheek where a shard of glass had lodged. His vision was blurry, though his spectacles were still somehow perched on his nose. Perhaps he had been concussed.
“Please, let me help you.” The young man grabbed Ben's arm and pulled him to his feet. “I do apologize. I've never run over anyone before.”
Ben dusted off his trousers, struggling to keep his temper in check. “I find that hard to believe, sir. Furthermore, I–” The words died in his throat as he took in the full visage of his assailant. He was beautiful, with an easy smile and grey eyes. “I, um, my class...” Ben gestured to the mess of books and glass on the ground, struggling to regain his train of thought.
“Your class?” The young man leaned in closer, inspecting Ben's wound. “I'm afraid you have blood all over you.”
He smelled lovely, like Eau de Quinine. Ben exhaled sharply. “Be that as it may, sir–”
“– it's Iain, actually,” he laughed.
Title: The Genuine Fake
Word Count: 75,030
Genre: Mystery Cozy
Query:
You'd have to be drunk or crazy to hire Dahlia Moss as a detective, and her client was conveniently both. Drunk was verifiable-- there was a wine glass in his hand. Crazy was self-evident: Dahlia had no experience, no money, and the only thing she'd been reliably good at finding were pink slips.
The details of the job only make it seem stranger. The client wants her to recover the Bejeweled Spear of Infinite Piercing, a powerful and breathtakingly gaudy weapon from the online game "Kingdoms of Zoth". The pay is insane, a thousand bucks just for looking, and double for finding it. Dahlia thinks the job is certifiable, but pragmatically signs on; two thousand bucks buys a lot of Ramen.
Her investigation takes her through the student slums of St. Louis and into the on-line jungles of Zoth, interviewing aggrieved gamers, drunken fire-mages, misogynist golems, and an extremely petulant tree. But just when she gets a handle on the case, her client turns up dead-- skewered by a 3-D printed replica of the very spear she was looking for.
Suddenly, the police are involved, and Dahlia is in the middle of a murder investigation. Gamers are showing at her doorstep, detectives are trailing her, and more 3-D printed spears are mysteriously showing up in the mail. It's exactly the wrong time to learn that her client's decision to hire her wasn't so random after all.
First 250:
The only time I ever met Jonah Long he was wearing a fake beard, a blue pinstripe captain's outfit and a toy pipe that blew soap bubbles. He did not seem like someone who was about to change my life.
"I have a proposition for you," he had told me. Admittedly, that does sound like the kind of thing a life changing person might say. It's right up there with "it's dangerous to go alone-- take this!" and "you are the chosen one." But a plastic bubble pipe really takes the edge off this sort of thing.
It was a nautical themed party, which partly explained his ridiculous outfit. I'd thought he was hitting on me. “I’m in a non-dating phase," I'd told him. Not entirely true, but I repeat: bubble pipe.
"A financial proposition, Dahlia."
I had no idea who he was. I was irked that he knew my name but it was clear from the way Charice was hovering over him that my roommate was involved. She was wearing an over-sized mermaid's outfit that made her look faintly seal-like-- especially with her mugging at me as Jonah spoke. Eh? Eh? I felt like I should throw a fish at her.
But really: what could I do? I had seventeen dollars and twenty three cents in my bank account at the time of this exchange, with less in savings. I could only use ATMs that dispensed tens. Despite my correct sense that Jonah was 1) ridiculous and 2) trouble, at the phrase "financial proposition" he had my undivided attention.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Lavender Marriage
Title: The Well-Adjusted Household
Word Count: 86,000
Genre: Adult Upmarket Fiction
Query:
Ben has been called a lot of things: doctor, husband, father, deviant, liar. His wife Alena calls him friend and her brother Iain calls him lover.
They live in Prohibition-era Pittsburgh and booze isn't the only thing that's illegal. Homosexuality is a felony and Ben and Iain don't care to spend the next ten years behind bars. Luckily, their sham marriages to Alena and her paramour Margaux are the perfect cover.
In public, they are the wealthy and powerful Blackburn family, heirs to a steel fortune. But behind closed doors, they are an improvised household of artificially conceived children and secret passageways between bedrooms. Everything is orchestrated. Nothing is as it seems.
When a conniving maid discovers their secret, Iain and Ben are arrested on charges of sodomy and homosexual behavior. The men and their constructed family are put on trial and it is up to their wives to convince the world of their “innocence.”
Their reputations, their fortune and the custody of their children all depend on this one, grand lie. They are well-aware that the truth will not set them free.
First 250:
“On your right!”
The bicycle appeared from around the corner while Ben was lost in thoughts of covalent bonds and chemical reactions. There was no time to avoid impact. His beakers hit the pavement first, followed by his face.
“Jesus Christ, I've killed him. Hello? Can you hear me?”
Ben rolled to his back, coughing from the impact. “Left. You were on my left.”
“Pardon?” The cyclist hovered over him, surveying the damage. “Goodness. You're bleeding.”
Ben sat up slowly, poking at his cheek where a shard of glass had lodged. His vision was blurry, though his spectacles were still somehow perched on his nose. Perhaps he had been concussed.
“Please, let me help you.” The young man grabbed Ben's arm and pulled him to his feet. “I do apologize. I've never run over anyone before.”
Ben dusted off his trousers, struggling to keep his temper in check. “I find that hard to believe, sir. Furthermore, I–” The words died in his throat as he took in the full visage of his assailant. He was beautiful, with an easy smile and grey eyes. “I, um, my class...” Ben gestured to the mess of books and glass on the ground, struggling to regain his train of thought.
“Your class?” The young man leaned in closer, inspecting Ben's wound. “I'm afraid you have blood all over you.”
He smelled lovely, like Eau de Quinine. Ben exhaled sharply. “Be that as it may, sir–”
“– it's Iain, actually,” he laughed.
QK Round 4: Shalom Sasquatch VS Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Entry Nickname: Shalom Sasquatch
Title: Sasquatch,
Love, and Other Imaginary Things
Word count: 77K
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Samantha Berger is
pretty sure most nice Jewish girls don’t have parents who force them to hunt Bigfoot,
especially on national T.V. Just when
Sam thinks she couldn’t be more humiliated, she meets the competition: a team
of snobby anthropology students from Yale who are set on wiping the floor with
her “Squatch” loving family.
The captain of the other team, Devan Mehta, is impossibly cute in a Bollywood Romeo-meets-Sherlock Holmes sort of way — until he opens his perfect British mouth and calls her family a bunch of low-class wankers. Sam’s no longer just embarrassed. She’s livid, and determined to beat the ascot off Devan and his crew. After all, the prize money will allow her to study pre-med at the college of her dreams, far from Yetis and Yalies.
Teamed up by the producers for a special challenge, Sam and Devan bond over family pressures, geek out over fantasy fiction, and learn to rely on each other. In a moment of honesty, Devan admits he may be kicked out of his anthropology program if his team fails and Sam worries about paying for college if she doesn’t win. Before they know it, understanding leads to attraction and a steamy snogging session. Now, as the competition heats up, Sam must choose between her ridiculous family and Devan. Suddenly, finding Bigfoot is the smallest of Sam’s hairy problems.
The captain of the other team, Devan Mehta, is impossibly cute in a Bollywood Romeo-meets-Sherlock Holmes sort of way — until he opens his perfect British mouth and calls her family a bunch of low-class wankers. Sam’s no longer just embarrassed. She’s livid, and determined to beat the ascot off Devan and his crew. After all, the prize money will allow her to study pre-med at the college of her dreams, far from Yetis and Yalies.
Teamed up by the producers for a special challenge, Sam and Devan bond over family pressures, geek out over fantasy fiction, and learn to rely on each other. In a moment of honesty, Devan admits he may be kicked out of his anthropology program if his team fails and Sam worries about paying for college if she doesn’t win. Before they know it, understanding leads to attraction and a steamy snogging session. Now, as the competition heats up, Sam must choose between her ridiculous family and Devan. Suddenly, finding Bigfoot is the smallest of Sam’s hairy problems.
First
250:
On a good day, my parents were just
mildly embarrassing. The day the camera crew came to our house was not a good
day.
I squinted at the bright lights illuminating our dingy living room, and turned to my older sister, Sophie. “Hunting Bigfoot in private isn’t bad enough?” I whispered. “Now Mom and Dad have to humiliate us on national television?”
I squinted at the bright lights illuminating our dingy living room, and turned to my older sister, Sophie. “Hunting Bigfoot in private isn’t bad enough?” I whispered. “Now Mom and Dad have to humiliate us on national television?”
Sophie
shrugged. “You’ve been complaining for weeks. It’s time to suck it up.”
Colin, the producer of a new TV show called “Myth Gnomers,” stood behind our scratched-up coffee table shooting pre-interviews with my parents, me, and my two sisters. The awful title of this lame reality show should’ve served as an obvious warning we were about to do something ridiculous, but nope, it sure didn’t.
Instead of running like hell, all five
of us were squished together on our stained, saggy brown couch, smiles frozen
in place. At least our butts hid the holes in the upholstery. Colin, the producer of a new TV show called “Myth Gnomers,” stood behind our scratched-up coffee table shooting pre-interviews with my parents, me, and my two sisters. The awful title of this lame reality show should’ve served as an obvious warning we were about to do something ridiculous, but nope, it sure didn’t.
“Checking. Checking one, two. Your mics should all be on now.” Colin peered over the camera at my parents’ matching neon green shirts that read, “Ohio is Bigfoot Country.”
My mom’s smile tightened. She glared and gestured at me until I put on a Northern Ohio Bigfoot Society hat like my sisters. Each Sasquatch club designed their own logo. My tacky trucker cap had a cartoon footprint and a motto on it in Latin— which probably translated to “We have nothing better to do.”
I pulled the brim over my eyes and slumped down, wishing I could join the pennies and crumbs hiding in the crevices of the sofa.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Title: Stealing Fire
Word count: 75,000
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Query:
Ella’s life for her father’s. It’s the easiest decision she ever made.
When Ella traces her missing father to a decaying mansion, she's shocked to find him being held captive by a devastatingly handsome man. He offers to let her father go free, but only if Ella stays behind.
Lucian isn't just a crazy kidnapper wrapped in eye candy. He's the head of a species who live as humans by day and monsters by night. Desperate to discover why none of his kind have been born in centuries, Lucian stole Ella's father, a scientist who’d worked with Lucian on the fertility crisis before abruptly quitting decades ago. When Ella shows up and is immune to Lucian's powers, he sees a chance to get answers, certain the scientist hid them in Ella’s DNA.
Ella willingly trades places with her father and becomes Lucian’s prisoner. He gives her everything she could possibly want except her freedom. The more time she spends with Lucian, the harder it is to deny he’s a ruthless monster. Even so, with every sideways glance and accidental touch, she becomes more confused and Lucian comes closer to forgetting she’s not his.
But their days together are limited. Lucian has enemies, and they’ll do anything to keep his species from expanding. As they close in, Lucian realizes the safest place for Ella is far away from him, and Ella must decide if her old, normal life is really where she belongs. But a true beast would never give up so easily.
First 250:
Ella shoved open the door to the sheriff’s office, slamming it against the wall. So what if all the deputies were staring. Let them know she was angry.
Tyler glanced up from the paperwork scattered across his desk, a lazy grin planted on his face. “Ella, if you really want to see me, all you have to do is call,” he said with his signature drawl that had all the women in the small Maine town of Pine Springs drooling.
All the women except Ella.
“Have you found him?” she asked, trying to make her five-four frame appear as large and imposing as possible.
Tyler stood up from behind the desk, towering over her. “We were able to track your father’s car down, but couldn’t find any sign of him. Like we told you before, he’s probably with someone at that conference you mentioned.”
“I filed the report over a week ago, and you’re the one who said he never checked in at the Lexington Hotel.”
Tyler nodded like he was listening, but she recognized the glazed-over look in his eyes. He’d already written her off. “Normally, that would be troubling, but you can’t exactly call Dr. Murray ‘normal’.”
What the hell? Sure he was exasperating, but he was a great sheriff. Why would he ignore an official missing persons report? “You need to take this seriously,” she warned.
Tyler moved around the desk and set a hand on her shoulder. “How about I swing by your place after my shift ends and we can discuss this over dinner?”
QK Round 4: Tag, You're Dead VS BingBamBoomBFF
Entry Nickname: Tag, You’re Dead
Title: Tag, You’re Dead (originally The Game)
Word Count: 80K
Genre: YA Thriller
Query
When six teenagers play Tag in present-day Chicago, there’s a twist from the childhood version…if you get Tagged, you get Dead.
The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: surgically-enhanced Brandy is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; untalented Robin desires his target's position on the school basketball team; and brainiac Charles craves a battle against an intellectual equal.
Three hand-picked innocents play as “Runners,” under threat to their loved ones should they refuse to participate: lovely, small-town Laura; superstar athlete William; and Amanda, gamer extraordinaire. These three want only one thing…to survive.
As soon as the Runners receive the “Go” on smart watches locked onto their wrists, the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. There is no time to rest; every thirty minutes the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its, which diminishes the Runners’ chances of ever reaching Home Base alive.
The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or find a way to use their individual strengths to stop the Game before anyone dies?
TAG, YOU’RE DEAD alternates among the POVs of all six players in the Game – who will live to see it end?
First 250:
BRANDY
Friday, 8:00 PM
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.
“Tag,” her mother said from her brocaded antique chair. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?"
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott. Plus, Tagging more than one Runner would be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one. If you are successful you may play again, and then you can go after two. I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know?” Brandy said. “You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you.”
Silence sizzled over the speaker.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen. The woman shown there was incredible.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: BingBamBoomBFF
Title: Sucker Punching Magic
Word count: 75,000
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Query
Title: Tag, You’re Dead (originally The Game)
Word Count: 80K
Genre: YA Thriller
Query
When six teenagers play Tag in present-day Chicago, there’s a twist from the childhood version…if you get Tagged, you get Dead.
The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: surgically-enhanced Brandy is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; untalented Robin desires his target's position on the school basketball team; and brainiac Charles craves a battle against an intellectual equal.
Three hand-picked innocents play as “Runners,” under threat to their loved ones should they refuse to participate: lovely, small-town Laura; superstar athlete William; and Amanda, gamer extraordinaire. These three want only one thing…to survive.
As soon as the Runners receive the “Go” on smart watches locked onto their wrists, the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. There is no time to rest; every thirty minutes the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its, which diminishes the Runners’ chances of ever reaching Home Base alive.
The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or find a way to use their individual strengths to stop the Game before anyone dies?
TAG, YOU’RE DEAD alternates among the POVs of all six players in the Game – who will live to see it end?
First 250:
BRANDY
Friday, 8:00 PM
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.
“Tag,” her mother said from her brocaded antique chair. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?"
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott. Plus, Tagging more than one Runner would be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one. If you are successful you may play again, and then you can go after two. I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know?” Brandy said. “You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you.”
Silence sizzled over the speaker.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen. The woman shown there was incredible.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: BingBamBoomBFF
Title: Sucker Punching Magic
Word count: 75,000
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Query
Fourteen years ago, during the Y2K Scare, magic bubbled out
of Milwaukee’s
sewers. A third of the population changed into creatures commonly found in
Fairy Tales. Seventeen-year-old Jude Kozlowski is one of the victims. Though his
allergy to light causes him to shift into a troll, he wants the world to accept
him as a decent guy, not the “who’s that tramping over my bridge” stereotype.
But his huge frame and pistachio skin scare normal humans and his shyness keeps
him from meeting anyone else. Even his part-time paper-pushing job has him
working alone. Fitting in seems hopeless.
That is, until Luz Bangor crashes into his cubicle at First
Metro Finance, thugs on her heels. When the Fairy Mob kidnapped her brainiac
brother, Eric, she and her unpredictable magic became his only hope for rescue.
Convinced a ginormous Loser-L clings to her forehead, she begs Jude for help.
Smitten and glowing over the unexpected chance to be a hero,
he agrees. Then the villains snatch Luz. Like a knight sans the shiny armor,
Jude pursues. He braves neighborhood vigilantes, a spoiled poodle and a troll
biker gang to track Luz to Underhill, the fairy fortress. There, the unlikely
pair must square off with the Fairy Godmother or lose Eric—and each other—forever.
SUCKER PUNCHING MAGIC is a YA
urban fantasy of 75,000 words, which might also
appeal to Middle Grade readers. It’s told alternately in Jude’s and
Luz’s point of view.
First 250 Words:
The Number Ten shot by, ruffling Jude Kozlowski’s hair.
He jerked his head up out of his calculus homework. Dang. He could blame a lot
of things on The Fairy Tale Effect, the mutations that magic’s resurgence had
caused, but missing the bus wasn't one of them.
On a clear afternoon in downtown Milwaukee, 6’2” Jude
made a big target. Hard to believe the bus driver hadn't spotted him. Yet the
guy hadn't even slowed.
Jude leaped to his feet. Book, paper and pencil in
hand, he barreled down the sidewalk in pursuit.
He needed his job. The order and routine. The chance to
be normal. If he waited for the next bus, he’d be late.
Heart racing, he dodged the parking meters and the guys
who cradled cheap wine in paper bags outside the military surplus store.
Down the block, the bus’s brakes shrieked. Its axles groaned.
The side doors disgorged a bearded dwarf in a trench coat. Jude bounded over the dwarf and reached the
curb as a woman wearing a Hamburger Heaven uniform hurried through the bus’s
front doors.
Jude followed, but before his foot touched the step,
the gnome at the wheel flinched. Eyes wide, he hastily cranked the Plexiglas
doors closed. The reflection of Jude’s lumpy, pistachio green skin played over
the window.
“I need a ride.” Going for friendly, Jude grinned. Wrong
move. In the glass, his smile appeared strained—too full, a baring of teeth.
Jun 24, 2014
Round 3 Wrap Up
Round 3 of Query Kombat is officially over, and we've got our Elite 8! Kontestants may revise their entries one last time to gear up for the next round. Have those revisions back tonight! This round promises to be positively painful.
I hope the judges are ready for heartbreak.
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round.
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
Round 3 will be hosted on Mike's blog. It starts on June 25th and will run through June 26th. That's only two days people! FEEL FREE TO CHEERLEAD YOUR HEARTS OUT IN THIS ROUND AS LONG AS YOU DO SO RESPECTFULLY!
I hope the judges are ready for heartbreak.
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round.
Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Lavender Marriage
A Cozy for Geeks
Making Boys Cry
Girl Destroys World
Tag, You're Dead
Shalom Sasquatch
BingBamBoomBFF
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
CONGRATS to all who made it. To those who didn't, you fought valiantly. You should be proud of yourselves. Agent requests are posted on your Agent round entry. (Remember to send 50 pages and put Query Kombat in your subject line.)
Best of luck combatants.
Round 4 match ups are listed below
Tag, You're Dead VS BingBamBoomBFF
Shalom Sasquatch VS Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
A Cozy For Geeks VS Lavender Marriage
Making Boys Cry VS Girl Destroys World
Jun 22, 2014
Epublishing Journey (Sorry for the Delay)
I promised to chart my e-publishing adventures, and here I am to make good on that promise.
First, let me say this: writers have excellent resources when it comes to self-publishing. Stepping into the indie arena, I had no idea the tools at my disposal. From CreateSpace to Smashwords to BookBub, authors have the ability to reach and interact with thousands of people. Granted, it takes time, money, and hard work, but it's definitely possible.
A brief rundown of the indie author's utility belt:
CreateSpace: A print-on-demand service that prints and distributes physical copies of your book. Rather than paying them up front, they take a percentage of every book sold. For example: The print edition of my book is priced at $9.59. I make $2.38 for sales via Amazon, and $4.30 for sales via CreateSpace. You may think those prices are low, but considering they print and ship it, you're getting a good deal.
Kindle Direct Publishing: (KDP) allows an author to publish their work on Amazon. It's extremely straightforward, easy to use, and when I had a problem, a quick email to Amazon was all it took to clear things up. Amazon's staff are friendly and quickly to respond. All in all, I had a great experience with KDP
Smashwords: A one stop shop to distribute you work to Nook, Kobo, Apple, etc. Smashwords allows you to list your book price for free, and if you ever make changes to your story, readers who've already purchased the book can download the updated version for free.
The biggest downside to Smashwords is actually uploading you work. It is difficult, and a single mistake can prevent it from uploading/uploading correctly. They do have a downloadable guide to help with formatting. I followed it and managed to upload my work. When I went to update it a week later, I mess something up and the formatting got all wonky. In frustration, I pulled it from the site and enrolled in KDP Select. I'll try again later, but I'm not looking forward to it.
All in all, Smashwords is a great tool. I just wish it wasn't so complicated to use.
Sigil: Sigil translates your text into HTML code which is the base for ebook files. It can also generate a table of contents and run the HTML of your book through a validator that makes sure all of your HTML code is correct. This is a must have program for publishing ebooks. Here's a video tutorial.
Calibre: Considering most of the grunt work is done by Sigil, Calibre is used for fine tuning. It can rescale font sizes, ensuring the output e-book is readable no matter what font sizes the input document uses. It can automatically detect/create book structure, like chapters and Table of Contents. It can also insert the book metadata into a "Book Jacket" at the start of the book. (Pulled from site)
Midnight Whimsy: A book cover designer who does EXCELLENT work on custom book covers. She designed the cover for My Best Friend Death (as seen in the upper left corner). She's an amazing gal to work with.
CCR Book Cover Design: An equally wonderful sight for premade ebook covers (for the more cost conscious). Cheryl designed the cover for my yet-to-be-released episodic work DeadEarth: Mr. .44 Magnum. She has a huge array of premade covers, and the turn around time is twenty-four hours (excluding weekends).
Now that you know the tools at your disposal, you need a rundown of two other very important aspects of ebook publishing: time and money.
Time: Trust me when I say you spend A LOT of time doing menial things. For example, before I moved my story from Word to Sigil, I had to chart all the italicized words in my novel (Sigil removes the formatting of your story), and once I had them charted, I had to then re-italicize them in Sigil. Talk about BOR-RING
Want another example? Page numbering. Sounds easy, right? WRONG. Numbering the pages for the physical print of my book took me hours and a lot of Googling. The reason: Headers. In the physical print, odd numbered pages (recto) have the title of my book, while even numbered pages (verso) have my name (or maybe it's the other way around). The only pages that don't have my name or title of the book are the pages that start a chapter (they don't have a header at all).
To format the Word doc that way, I pretty much had to tweak my doc to restart the page numbering at every chapter (as if every chapter was a new document). After I did that, I had to go chapter by chapter and manually change the numbering. Let me repeat that... MANUALLY CHANGE THE NUMBERING. If you mess up once (like I did) you won't know until you finish, and then you have to start over from wherever you messed up.
It was a nightmare.
There are a lot of little things like that that will take up hours of your time. And Smashwords is a vicious, time-consuming beast on it own. If you can't tell by now, I have a love/hate relationship with Smashwords.
In short, if you want to epub, make sure you give yourself the adequate amount of time needed for formatting. You want to look professional, so don't cut corners in the interest of saving time/money. It'll hurt you in the long run.
Money: I kept the receipts for every epublishing related expense (for tax purposes), so I can give you an accurate rundown of what I've spent.
Cover design: $170.00
Premade Cover design: $55
Edits:$435
Net Galley: $80
Website: $99
Domain Name: $9.90
Business cards: $39.46
ARCs: $14.14
Total: 902.50
Pending expense:
Bookbub: $250
I also had to pick up a new laptop and printer, but I won't include those in this tally.
As you can see, it's not particularly cheap (especially considering you may not make back what you've paid), but it's not extremely expensive either.
Well, that's all for now. In my next post, I'll get into sales and my personal experiences. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments. I'll answer them in the next post.
First, let me say this: writers have excellent resources when it comes to self-publishing. Stepping into the indie arena, I had no idea the tools at my disposal. From CreateSpace to Smashwords to BookBub, authors have the ability to reach and interact with thousands of people. Granted, it takes time, money, and hard work, but it's definitely possible.
A brief rundown of the indie author's utility belt:
CreateSpace: A print-on-demand service that prints and distributes physical copies of your book. Rather than paying them up front, they take a percentage of every book sold. For example: The print edition of my book is priced at $9.59. I make $2.38 for sales via Amazon, and $4.30 for sales via CreateSpace. You may think those prices are low, but considering they print and ship it, you're getting a good deal.
Kindle Direct Publishing: (KDP) allows an author to publish their work on Amazon. It's extremely straightforward, easy to use, and when I had a problem, a quick email to Amazon was all it took to clear things up. Amazon's staff are friendly and quickly to respond. All in all, I had a great experience with KDP
Smashwords: A one stop shop to distribute you work to Nook, Kobo, Apple, etc. Smashwords allows you to list your book price for free, and if you ever make changes to your story, readers who've already purchased the book can download the updated version for free.
The biggest downside to Smashwords is actually uploading you work. It is difficult, and a single mistake can prevent it from uploading/uploading correctly. They do have a downloadable guide to help with formatting. I followed it and managed to upload my work. When I went to update it a week later, I mess something up and the formatting got all wonky. In frustration, I pulled it from the site and enrolled in KDP Select. I'll try again later, but I'm not looking forward to it.
All in all, Smashwords is a great tool. I just wish it wasn't so complicated to use.
Sigil: Sigil translates your text into HTML code which is the base for ebook files. It can also generate a table of contents and run the HTML of your book through a validator that makes sure all of your HTML code is correct. This is a must have program for publishing ebooks. Here's a video tutorial.
Calibre: Considering most of the grunt work is done by Sigil, Calibre is used for fine tuning. It can rescale font sizes, ensuring the output e-book is readable no matter what font sizes the input document uses. It can automatically detect/create book structure, like chapters and Table of Contents. It can also insert the book metadata into a "Book Jacket" at the start of the book. (Pulled from site)
Midnight Whimsy: A book cover designer who does EXCELLENT work on custom book covers. She designed the cover for My Best Friend Death (as seen in the upper left corner). She's an amazing gal to work with.
CCR Book Cover Design: An equally wonderful sight for premade ebook covers (for the more cost conscious). Cheryl designed the cover for my yet-to-be-released episodic work DeadEarth: Mr. .44 Magnum. She has a huge array of premade covers, and the turn around time is twenty-four hours (excluding weekends).
Now that you know the tools at your disposal, you need a rundown of two other very important aspects of ebook publishing: time and money.
Time: Trust me when I say you spend A LOT of time doing menial things. For example, before I moved my story from Word to Sigil, I had to chart all the italicized words in my novel (Sigil removes the formatting of your story), and once I had them charted, I had to then re-italicize them in Sigil. Talk about BOR-RING
Want another example? Page numbering. Sounds easy, right? WRONG. Numbering the pages for the physical print of my book took me hours and a lot of Googling. The reason: Headers. In the physical print, odd numbered pages (recto) have the title of my book, while even numbered pages (verso) have my name (or maybe it's the other way around). The only pages that don't have my name or title of the book are the pages that start a chapter (they don't have a header at all).
To format the Word doc that way, I pretty much had to tweak my doc to restart the page numbering at every chapter (as if every chapter was a new document). After I did that, I had to go chapter by chapter and manually change the numbering. Let me repeat that... MANUALLY CHANGE THE NUMBERING. If you mess up once (like I did) you won't know until you finish, and then you have to start over from wherever you messed up.
It was a nightmare.
There are a lot of little things like that that will take up hours of your time. And Smashwords is a vicious, time-consuming beast on it own. If you can't tell by now, I have a love/hate relationship with Smashwords.
In short, if you want to epub, make sure you give yourself the adequate amount of time needed for formatting. You want to look professional, so don't cut corners in the interest of saving time/money. It'll hurt you in the long run.
Money: I kept the receipts for every epublishing related expense (for tax purposes), so I can give you an accurate rundown of what I've spent.
Cover design: $170.00
Premade Cover design: $55
Edits:$435
Net Galley: $80
Website: $99
Domain Name: $9.90
Business cards: $39.46
ARCs: $14.14
Total: 902.50
Pending expense:
Bookbub: $250
I also had to pick up a new laptop and printer, but I won't include those in this tally.
As you can see, it's not particularly cheap (especially considering you may not make back what you've paid), but it's not extremely expensive either.
Well, that's all for now. In my next post, I'll get into sales and my personal experiences. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments. I'll answer them in the next post.
Jun 21, 2014
Query Kombat Round 3 Begins
WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Below you will find the 8 match-ups for Round 3 of Query Kombat 2014. Once again, here are the match-ups.
Below you will find the 8 match-ups for Round 3 of Query Kombat 2014. Once again, here are the match-ups.
Lavender Marriage VS Make a Baby with Socks On
Can't Keep a Bad Girl Down VS Making Boys Cry
Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper VS Love is Hell
WEEL VS Tag, You're Dead
BingBamBoomBFF VS Star Light, Star Bright
World on a String VS Girl Destroys World
Shalom Sasquatch VS A Burning Dilemma
A Cozy For Geeks VS Maidens, Monks, and Murder
Round 3 will run through June 23rd.
IMPORTANT FOR THE JUDGES TO READ:
Comments are still set to moderation in order to protect the agent requests. Thus, your comments and votes won't publish right away. Throughout the day, SC will periodically go through and publish the comments - He'll be tweeting at @SC_Author to tell you guys when he's publishing them and who been voting.
Best of luck combatants!
Jun 19, 2014
Round 2 Wrap Up
Round 2 of Query Kombat is officially over, and kontestants have finished licking their wounds revising their entries to gear up for the next round. For round 3, we are down to sixteen entries. This is surely going to be the toughest round yet. Some heavy hitter are going at it and we have no idea which of you will come out standing.
If our judge thought the last round was hard, they haven't seen anything yet
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes!
EDITED: Round 3 will be hosted on SC's blog only. It starts on June 21st and will run through June 23rd.
If our judge thought the last round was hard, they haven't seen anything yet
Below is the list of those who will go on to the next round. Let me know if we made any mistakes!
Make a Baby with Socks On
Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Love is Hell
Can't Keep a Bad Girl Down
Lavender Marriage
A Cozy for Geeks
Making Boys Cry
World on a String
Girl Destroys World
Star Light, Star Bright
Tag, You're Dead
A Burning Dilemma
Shalom Sasquatch
WEEL
Maidens, Monks, & Murder
BingBamBoomBFF
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
Red: Team Michelle
Blue Team SC
Orange: Team Mike
CONGRATS to all who made it. To those who didn't, you fought valiantly. You should be proud of yourselves.
Best of luck combatants.
Round 3 match ups are listed below
Lavender Marriage VS Make a Baby with Socks On
Can't Keep s Bad Girl Down VS Making Boys Cry
Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper VS Love is Hell
WEEL VS Tag, You're Dead
BingBamBoomBFF VS Star Light, Star Bright
World on a String VS Girl Destroys World
Shalom Sasquatch VS A Burning Dilemma
A Cozy For Geeks VS Maidens, Monks, and Murder
Jun 15, 2014
Query Kombat Round 2 Begins!
Round 2 HAS BEGUN!
Hop on over to Michelle's blog to see the other eight match-ups.
Before we begin, some reminders:
Reminders for the Entrants:
No commenting on your own entries! At ALL. Except for one big exception: We are human, we make mistakes. If you see something wrong with your entry such as a word that should have been italicized but isn't, or something else, first try to Tweet me @RavenousRushing (this is the best option). If you don't have a Twitter, comment on your entry telling me the mistake (but this way will be slower as I won't be checking the comments as much as Twitter, and also because your comment may be lost in a flood of judges' votes).
Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random (they're not). We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.
Reminders for the Judges:
Try waiting until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes :) Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!).
Make sure to post under your nicknames!
And judges: seriously, thank you so, SO much for doing this. It's a very tough job (just wait until you start doing it!) and isn't for the faint-hearted.
Reminders for Everyone:
Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment!
NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be Tweeting under #QueryKombat!
Hop on over to Michelle's blog to see the other eight match-ups.
Before we begin, some reminders:
Reminders for the Entrants:
No commenting on your own entries! At ALL. Except for one big exception: We are human, we make mistakes. If you see something wrong with your entry such as a word that should have been italicized but isn't, or something else, first try to Tweet me @RavenousRushing (this is the best option). If you don't have a Twitter, comment on your entry telling me the mistake (but this way will be slower as I won't be checking the comments as much as Twitter, and also because your comment may be lost in a flood of judges' votes).
Also, we tried our hardest to make the match-ups as fair as possible and against as similar stories as possible. But, obviously, this is impossible to do perfectly and some match-ups may seen very random (they're not). We apologize for this but it's an evil of the system.
Reminders for the Judges:
Try waiting until after one of us hosts comments on each entry first and reply to that comment to cast your votes :) Try making your votes objective instead of subjective (but if you really love an entry subjectively, don't even feel bad about saying it was a subjective vote - subjectivity rules!).
Make sure to post under your nicknames!
And judges: seriously, thank you so, SO much for doing this. It's a very tough job (just wait until you start doing it!) and isn't for the faint-hearted.
Reminders for Everyone:
Try not to comment until after one of us hosts have made the first comment!
NOW THE FUN BEGINS!!! GO GO GO!!! We'll be Tweeting under #QueryKombat!
QK Round 2: Caprice No. 13 VS Shalom Sasquatch
Entry Nickname: Caprice No. 13
Title: Strung Along
Word Count: 51,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Sarah Avery has always been a violinist, ever since her mother took her to a symphony performance when she was seven. But now her mother is dead, and Sarah’s violin is her only salvation. Her violin means safety, it means Juilliard, it means an escape from her lecherous uncle and ignorant aunt. That is, if Sarah can get in.
But the audition itself isn’t the only thing standing in Sarah’s way. Not when the school guidance counselor forces her to tutor another student for credit hours: Sawyer Cavallo, a self-described fat queer punk with a blue violin and her own share of secrets. Who, to Sarah’s surprise, ends up becoming a friend—even if she is one Sarah can’t afford. Friends get too close. Friends notice things that are off, things that Sarah would rather keep hidden. Things that she has to keep hidden.
Because if her uncle finds out she plans to leave him, he very well may kill her.
First 250:
My eyes are closed.
Violin music resonates around me, Bach’s Sonata in G minor filling the room, my body, notes wrapping me in a cocoon. My bow is merely an extension of my arm, my fingers press down on the strings at the exact moment they need to make something exquisite, something perfect. This, this is what I live for, this music that makes me feel like I’m in Carnegie Hall, I’m a soloist for a great symphony, I’m—
I’m perfect.
No—I’m safe.
“Miss Avery?”
I start, open my eyes. Mrs. Canady, the music teacher turned guidance counselor, stands in front of me.
“Are you okay?” she asks, the bangles on her wrist clinking dissonantly as she waves her arm.
“You scared me,” I say.
She shrugs, a halfhearted almost-apology. “I didn’t mean to disrupt your practice, but I need a favor.”
I flinch.
I don’t do favors.
“What?” I ask as I stand up. I tower over Mrs. Canady, so much I can begin to see her scalp through her straw-thin hair.
But the way she’s looking at me makes me feel small.
“You’re very talented,” she says. “I was wondering what your plans were after here.”
“I… I haven’t really…”
“You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you weren’t at least considering music,” she continues. “You’re good enough for Juilliard.”
My face burns.
Juilliard.
I don’t want anyone to know about Juilliard.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Shalom Sasquatch
Title: Sasquatch, Love, and Other Imaginary Things
Word count: 77K
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Samantha Berger is pretty sure most nice Jewish girls aren’t forced by their families to compete in Bigfoot hunts, especially on national T.V. Just when Sam thinks she couldn’t be more humiliated by her parents’ hobby, she meets the competition: a team of snobby anthropology students from Yale who are set on wiping the floor with her amateur “Squatch” hunting family.
The captain of the other team, Devan Mehta, is impossibly cute in a Bollywood Romeo-meets-Sherlock Holmes sort of way — until he opens his perfect British mouth and calls her family a bunch of low-class wankers. Sam’s no longer just embarrassed. She’s livid, and determined to beat the ascot off Devan and his crew. After all, the prize money will allow her to study pre-med at the college of her dreams, far from Yetis and Yaleies.
Thrown together by the producers, Sam and Devan bond over family pressures, geek out over fantasy fiction, and learn how to rely on each other. In a moment of honesty, Devan admits he may be kicked out of his anthropology program if his team fails and Sam worries about paying for college if she doesn’t win. Before they know it, understanding turns into attraction and a steamy snogging session. But if Sam doesn’t want Devan kicked out of Yale, she’ll have to help him win. Now, as the competition heats up, Sam must choose between her ridiculous family and Devan, who might be perfect for her. Suddenly, finding Bigfoot is just one of Sam’s hairy problems.
First 250:
On a good day, my parents were just mildly embarrassing. The day the camera crew came to our house was not a good day.
I squinted at the bright lights illuminating our dingy living room, and turned to my older sister, Sophie. “Hunting Bigfoot in private isn’t bad enough?” I whispered. “Now Mom and Dad have to humiliate us on national television?”
Colin, the producer of a new TV show called “Myth Gnomers,” stood behind our scratched up coffee table shooting pre-interviews with my parents, me, and my two sisters. All five of us squished together on our stained, saggy brown couch, smiles frozen in place. At least our butts hid the holes in the upholstery.
The awful title of this lame reality show should’ve served as an obvious warning we were about to do something ridiculous, but nope, it sure didn’t.
“Checking. Checking one, two. Your mics should all be on now.” Colin peered over the camera at my parents’ matching neon green shirts that read, “Ohio is Bigfoot Country.”
My mom’s smile tightened. She glared and gestured at me until I put on a Northern Ohio Bigfoot Society hat like my sisters. Each Sasquatch club designed their own logo. My tacky trucker cap had a cartoon footprint and a motto on it in Latin— which probably translates to “We have nothing better to do.”
I pulled the brim down over my eyes, and sunk down, wishing I could join the pennies and crumbs hiding in the crevices of the sofa.
Title: Strung Along
Word Count: 51,000
Genre: YA Contemporary
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Sarah Avery has always been a violinist, ever since her mother took her to a symphony performance when she was seven. But now her mother is dead, and Sarah’s violin is her only salvation. Her violin means safety, it means Juilliard, it means an escape from her lecherous uncle and ignorant aunt. That is, if Sarah can get in.
But the audition itself isn’t the only thing standing in Sarah’s way. Not when the school guidance counselor forces her to tutor another student for credit hours: Sawyer Cavallo, a self-described fat queer punk with a blue violin and her own share of secrets. Who, to Sarah’s surprise, ends up becoming a friend—even if she is one Sarah can’t afford. Friends get too close. Friends notice things that are off, things that Sarah would rather keep hidden. Things that she has to keep hidden.
Because if her uncle finds out she plans to leave him, he very well may kill her.
First 250:
My eyes are closed.
Violin music resonates around me, Bach’s Sonata in G minor filling the room, my body, notes wrapping me in a cocoon. My bow is merely an extension of my arm, my fingers press down on the strings at the exact moment they need to make something exquisite, something perfect. This, this is what I live for, this music that makes me feel like I’m in Carnegie Hall, I’m a soloist for a great symphony, I’m—
I’m perfect.
No—I’m safe.
“Miss Avery?”
I start, open my eyes. Mrs. Canady, the music teacher turned guidance counselor, stands in front of me.
“Are you okay?” she asks, the bangles on her wrist clinking dissonantly as she waves her arm.
“You scared me,” I say.
She shrugs, a halfhearted almost-apology. “I didn’t mean to disrupt your practice, but I need a favor.”
I flinch.
I don’t do favors.
“What?” I ask as I stand up. I tower over Mrs. Canady, so much I can begin to see her scalp through her straw-thin hair.
But the way she’s looking at me makes me feel small.
“You’re very talented,” she says. “I was wondering what your plans were after here.”
“I… I haven’t really…”
“You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you weren’t at least considering music,” she continues. “You’re good enough for Juilliard.”
My face burns.
Juilliard.
I don’t want anyone to know about Juilliard.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Shalom Sasquatch
Title: Sasquatch, Love, and Other Imaginary Things
Word count: 77K
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Samantha Berger is pretty sure most nice Jewish girls aren’t forced by their families to compete in Bigfoot hunts, especially on national T.V. Just when Sam thinks she couldn’t be more humiliated by her parents’ hobby, she meets the competition: a team of snobby anthropology students from Yale who are set on wiping the floor with her amateur “Squatch” hunting family.
The captain of the other team, Devan Mehta, is impossibly cute in a Bollywood Romeo-meets-Sherlock Holmes sort of way — until he opens his perfect British mouth and calls her family a bunch of low-class wankers. Sam’s no longer just embarrassed. She’s livid, and determined to beat the ascot off Devan and his crew. After all, the prize money will allow her to study pre-med at the college of her dreams, far from Yetis and Yaleies.
Thrown together by the producers, Sam and Devan bond over family pressures, geek out over fantasy fiction, and learn how to rely on each other. In a moment of honesty, Devan admits he may be kicked out of his anthropology program if his team fails and Sam worries about paying for college if she doesn’t win. Before they know it, understanding turns into attraction and a steamy snogging session. But if Sam doesn’t want Devan kicked out of Yale, she’ll have to help him win. Now, as the competition heats up, Sam must choose between her ridiculous family and Devan, who might be perfect for her. Suddenly, finding Bigfoot is just one of Sam’s hairy problems.
First 250:
On a good day, my parents were just mildly embarrassing. The day the camera crew came to our house was not a good day.
I squinted at the bright lights illuminating our dingy living room, and turned to my older sister, Sophie. “Hunting Bigfoot in private isn’t bad enough?” I whispered. “Now Mom and Dad have to humiliate us on national television?”
Colin, the producer of a new TV show called “Myth Gnomers,” stood behind our scratched up coffee table shooting pre-interviews with my parents, me, and my two sisters. All five of us squished together on our stained, saggy brown couch, smiles frozen in place. At least our butts hid the holes in the upholstery.
The awful title of this lame reality show should’ve served as an obvious warning we were about to do something ridiculous, but nope, it sure didn’t.
“Checking. Checking one, two. Your mics should all be on now.” Colin peered over the camera at my parents’ matching neon green shirts that read, “Ohio is Bigfoot Country.”
My mom’s smile tightened. She glared and gestured at me until I put on a Northern Ohio Bigfoot Society hat like my sisters. Each Sasquatch club designed their own logo. My tacky trucker cap had a cartoon footprint and a motto on it in Latin— which probably translates to “We have nothing better to do.”
I pulled the brim down over my eyes, and sunk down, wishing I could join the pennies and crumbs hiding in the crevices of the sofa.
QK Round 2: Have Swords, Will Travel VS Making Boys Cry
Entry Nickname: Have Sword, Will Travel
Title: CHAINBREAKER
Word count: 115,700
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Query:
Professional demon-hunter Lazarus loves his job. He loves the adrenaline rush, the clarity of combat, and the chance to be more than a broken thug. Most of all, he loves his angelic handler, Rebecca, who scraped him out of the gutter and gave him a purpose. For her, Laz would punch out the Sun.
Which is fortunate, because his current target is almost as formidable: a nigh-invulnerable necromancer who's easily dispatched every other demon-hunter who dared face him. A more rational man would be worried, but Laz sees this mission as an opportunity. Killing this guy is sure to impress Rebecca. Maybe she'll even reconsider her "no fraternization with humans" policy.
But the shameful truth is that Laz's battle prowess isn't entirely his own. Five years ago, Laz made a bargain with a charismatic demon that granted him immunity to demonic magic—and promptly skipped town without paying. Now, while Laz is hip-deep in the toughest mission of his life, his demon finally tracks him down... and it won't let him escape again.
CHAINBREAKER is a NA urban fantasy novel of 115,700 words. It is the first part of an apocalyptic trilogy that will appeal to fans of Jim Butcher's DEATH MASKS and Chuck Wendig's THE BLUE BLAZES.
First 250:
Wide awake at 3 AM, Laz decided that the worst thing about prison was the other prisoners. He couldn't sleep near so many potential threats. Not after the past five years of increasingly close pursuit by Hell's demons and America's cops.
The enforced idleness of imprisonment didn't help. Laz's internal engine ran hot at the best of times; with no work on which to vent his energy, he felt close to boiling over.
His eyes refused to shut. He covered his face with his hands, calloused palms pressed against battle scars and broken nose, and tried to force himself to relax. No good. He bit back a frustrated oath and rolled over onto his side, as if that would help.
Metal scraped against concrete as the computerized lock on his cell door slid open, instantly vindicating Laz's paranoia. He was on his feet and ready to fight before the sound died away.
The door swung outward in obedience to the ventilation system's constant draft. A stripe of washed-out light shone through the opening. There was no one on the other side.
Laz crept to the entrance and looked up and down the dim corridor. Everyone's door was open, not just his. Most inmates were asleep, but here and there one stood half-crouched in the entrance, suspicious but curious, like him.
Someone must have paid a lot of money to arrange this mass unlocking. Laz could only think of one reason to give all prisoners unsupervised access to each other, and it wasn't to swap recipes for pruno.
VERSUS
Title: CHAINBREAKER
Word count: 115,700
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Query:
Professional demon-hunter Lazarus loves his job. He loves the adrenaline rush, the clarity of combat, and the chance to be more than a broken thug. Most of all, he loves his angelic handler, Rebecca, who scraped him out of the gutter and gave him a purpose. For her, Laz would punch out the Sun.
Which is fortunate, because his current target is almost as formidable: a nigh-invulnerable necromancer who's easily dispatched every other demon-hunter who dared face him. A more rational man would be worried, but Laz sees this mission as an opportunity. Killing this guy is sure to impress Rebecca. Maybe she'll even reconsider her "no fraternization with humans" policy.
But the shameful truth is that Laz's battle prowess isn't entirely his own. Five years ago, Laz made a bargain with a charismatic demon that granted him immunity to demonic magic—and promptly skipped town without paying. Now, while Laz is hip-deep in the toughest mission of his life, his demon finally tracks him down... and it won't let him escape again.
CHAINBREAKER is a NA urban fantasy novel of 115,700 words. It is the first part of an apocalyptic trilogy that will appeal to fans of Jim Butcher's DEATH MASKS and Chuck Wendig's THE BLUE BLAZES.
First 250:
Wide awake at 3 AM, Laz decided that the worst thing about prison was the other prisoners. He couldn't sleep near so many potential threats. Not after the past five years of increasingly close pursuit by Hell's demons and America's cops.
The enforced idleness of imprisonment didn't help. Laz's internal engine ran hot at the best of times; with no work on which to vent his energy, he felt close to boiling over.
His eyes refused to shut. He covered his face with his hands, calloused palms pressed against battle scars and broken nose, and tried to force himself to relax. No good. He bit back a frustrated oath and rolled over onto his side, as if that would help.
Metal scraped against concrete as the computerized lock on his cell door slid open, instantly vindicating Laz's paranoia. He was on his feet and ready to fight before the sound died away.
The door swung outward in obedience to the ventilation system's constant draft. A stripe of washed-out light shone through the opening. There was no one on the other side.
Laz crept to the entrance and looked up and down the dim corridor. Everyone's door was open, not just his. Most inmates were asleep, but here and there one stood half-crouched in the entrance, suspicious but curious, like him.
Someone must have paid a lot of money to arrange this mass unlocking. Laz could only think of one reason to give all prisoners unsupervised access to each other, and it wasn't to swap recipes for pruno.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Making Boys Cry
Title: Virtual Rebel
Word count: 90,000
Genre: Science Fiction
Query:
The warrior. It's a title 18-year-old Kali Ling earned bringing men to their knees -- inside video games.
In
2054, fully-immersive virtual reality plugs a player directly inside a
game, turning digital battle tournaments into a national sport. As an
athletic avatar, Kali's living the high life: ultimate fame, zero
consequences, and an endless supply of drugs, win or lose. Because
really, nothing is worse than losing.
But when her teammate Nathan overdoses and Kali is named the new team captain, she's confronted with a concept called, ugh, being an adult.
She finds guidance through her Chinese heritage, immersing herself in
Asian philosophy and martial arts training with her team's latest
recruit (whom she can't help picturing in nothing but a strategically
placed controller). But just as she attains inner peace, the Virtual
Gaming League erases Nathan from its database and whitewashes the truth
behind his demise for the sake of ratings.
For ratings? Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong.
Furious,
Kali swaps fame for fighting in his memory in the VGL's championship
tournament. But the industry threatens to strip away everything she's
become if she doesn't back down. As team captain, it's not just her
future on the line. But if Kali can convince others to join her,
together they could stand against an industry that cares more about its
popularity than its athletes. This time it's game over. Permanently.
First 250 words:
This
wouldn't be the first time I died. Sure as hell wouldn't be the last
either. But while most watched this virtual world from the safe haven of
reality, there was nowhere else I'd rather spend my Saturday night.
Crouched high on the tower's parapet, I overlooked a
sea of wheat fields. The scent of lavender and the taste wheatgrass
wove together in the air, drifting alongside the breeze that swept
through my hair. I took a deep breath and smiled at the irony, as thick
as the mountain air filling my lungs. Lavender. Wheat fields.
Tranquility.
Peace, in a place anything but peaceful.
Movement
in the fields caught my eye, down and right. A zigzag carved its way
through the ten-foot tall stocks, heading straight for the tower. My
smile widened. Maybe this sucker had the balls to take on Kali Ling.
The warrior.
I stilled
inside. Even breaths. No fear. At the field's edge, the stocks trembled
violently. The air filled with the rainstick rustling of brush and dry
grass. Yes. Someone would emerge. I gripped the sword sheathed across my
back and waited, muscles tight, mouth watering. Come on. Give me
something. A brute. Six -- no -- seven feet tall, wielding a mace. Or an
axe.
Give me anything.
A rabbit
scurried out from the field. Nothing followed. The grass fluttered in
the breeze. Birds chirped, nestled in the nearby sycamore trees. It was
the rabbit, and only the rabbit.
For now.
I punched the parapet's brick wall, but instead of frustration, irony reverberated through me again.
Qk Round 2: Tag, You're Dead VS Amnesiac
Entry Nickname: Tag, You’re Dead
Title: Tag, You're Dead
Word count: 80K
Genre: YA Thriller
Query:
In present-day Chicago, six teenagers play Tag, but with a twist: if you get Tagged, you get Dead.
The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: Brandy, the surgically-enhanced debutante, is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; Robin, the so-so basketball player, desires his target's position on the school team; and Charles, the brainiac, craves a battle against an intellectual equal.
Laura, William, and Amanda, three hand-picked innocents forced to play as “Runners,” want only one thing…to survive.
From the moment the Runners “Go,” we follow their separate paths as the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. They must plan circuitous routes, for if they head directly to their Home Bases, they’ll run straight into their opponents’ murderous arms. Since the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its every half hour from smart watches locked onto their wrists, there is no time to rest, and barely a moment to register the threats made against their loved ones should the Runners refuse to participate.
With only so many places to hide, even in one of the nation’s largest cities, the Runners must use their unique skills – Laura’s charismatic personality, William’s brute strength, Amanda’s computer hacking – to outsmart their Its. The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or create a third option that could end the game before anyone dies?
Six players began the Game. How many will live to see it end?
First 250:
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.”
“Tag,” her mother said. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?”
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from the Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott.”
“But I want—"
“Tagging more than one Runner would also be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one Runner. If you are successful, you may play again, and go after two.”
“I’m smart,” Brandy said. “I could do it the first time.”
“I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know? You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you."
Silence sizzled over the speakers.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.”
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Amnesiac
Title: MINDSWEPT
Word Count: 72,000
Genre: YA thriller with sci-fi elements
Query:
Something went seriously wrong with seventeen-year-old Nessa's memory removal procedure. Ever since that trip to the neuroscience lab, she's been having awful, itchy compulsions to steal everything in sight. And she's pretty sure she hallucinated a creepy old woman wearing a bunny mask in her bedroom.
When Nessa's parents haul her back to the lab to figure out what went wrong, an assistant named Amir pulls her aside and tells her he accidentally implanted another client's memory in her brain. That client just turned up dead. Amir says the freaked-out lab director is planning to scrape Nessa's brain clean to hide their mistake, and she needs to get away. Now.
Nessa's ready to punch Amir in the face, but his story explains her crazy behavior. And running away with him sounds a lot better than risking becoming a vegetable, so she does. Using hypnosis, Nessa and Amir try to dig out the secret memory so they can expose the lab. But the details are buried deep, and every time Nessa gets close, pieces of the memory she thought she had erased -- screeching tires and a boy's head smashing her windshield -- start coming back. She can't face it.
But she needs to face it, because that old lady in Nessa's bedroom wasn't a hallucination. She knows exactly what's in Nessa's brain and she's willing to kill again to get it.
First 250:
I climb into the driver's seat and tug off the wig that's been torturing my scalp for the last three hours. If hair could breathe, mine would be gasping in relief right now.
"Better put these on, Nessa." My cousin Beth picks up my jeans from her seat.
She has a point: I probably shouldn't be driving Grammy’s car wearing a corset and thigh-high stockings. I pull the banana out of the front of my spangly black underwear and throw it in Beth's lap. With a horrified squeak, she tosses it onto the floor.
"What time is it?" I say.
"Almost three," she says. "I don't know what the law is in Florida, but you're probably not supposed to be driving this late. Should we call a cab?"
My knees thump the steering wheel as I kick my heels off and squirm into the jeans. "We're incognito in this old lady car. It'll be fine."
With a nervous sigh, Beth hands me my t-shirt. She played it safe dressing up as Janet for the Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight, in a plain white dress and cardigan. She didn't even need to hide her outfit when we left the house. I, however, required a full costume change in the movie theater parking lot before we went in. And for a few precious hours, I wasn't Nessa Shea, boring Junior class treasurer and crew team captain. I was Dr. Frank N Furter, the deranged cross-dressing alien and red-lipstick aficionado from Transsexual, Transylvania.
Title: Tag, You're Dead
Word count: 80K
Genre: YA Thriller
Query:
In present-day Chicago, six teenagers play Tag, but with a twist: if you get Tagged, you get Dead.
The three "Its" have their reasons for buying a place in the Game: Brandy, the surgically-enhanced debutante, is dying to destroy a naturally beautiful girl; Robin, the so-so basketball player, desires his target's position on the school team; and Charles, the brainiac, craves a battle against an intellectual equal.
Laura, William, and Amanda, three hand-picked innocents forced to play as “Runners,” want only one thing…to survive.
From the moment the Runners “Go,” we follow their separate paths as the Game rockets them through the city, from the El to Michigan Avenue to the Lincoln Park Zoo. They must plan circuitous routes, for if they head directly to their Home Bases, they’ll run straight into their opponents’ murderous arms. Since the Runners’ coordinates are transmitted to the Its every half hour from smart watches locked onto their wrists, there is no time to rest, and barely a moment to register the threats made against their loved ones should the Runners refuse to participate.
With only so many places to hide, even in one of the nation’s largest cities, the Runners must use their unique skills – Laura’s charismatic personality, William’s brute strength, Amanda’s computer hacking – to outsmart their Its. The Game will not end until someone is Tagged, so the Runners must choose how to play: will they accept death, murder their Its, or create a third option that could end the game before anyone dies?
Six players began the Game. How many will live to see it end?
First 250:
“I can’t choose,” Brandy Inkrott said. “I want to kill them all.”
“Tag,” her mother said. “You want to Tag them all.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Either way,” her father said, “I’m afraid you have to pick one.”
Brandy studied the images of the teenage girls on the screen. Brunettes. Blondes. Asians. Hispanics. Light-skinned. Dark-skinned. Every one of them gorgeous. Every one of them middle-class. No-names. None of them like her. “They’re all so perfect. Can I pick more than one?”
A woman’s voice pierced the air, emanating from the Surround Sound speakers. “The price for two would be extravagant, Ms. Inkrott.”
“But I want—"
“Tagging more than one Runner would also be difficult. Almost impossible.”
“I don’t care. I can do it.”
Her father shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I suggest this,” the woman said. “Play this time with one Runner. If you are successful, you may play again, and go after two.”
“I’m smart,” Brandy said. “I could do it the first time.”
“I know it’s tempting when you see all those beautiful faces, but you’d be setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“What do you know? You’re probably some fat old lady in a trailer park somewhere. I could Tag you."
Silence sizzled over the speakers.
“I’m sorry, Madame Referee,” Brandy’s father said. “She didn’t mean it.”
“Did so,” Brandy said.
“Bran, honey, please.”
The girls’ faces on the television disappeared, replaced by only one, which took up the entire surface of the eighty-inch screen.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Amnesiac
Title: MINDSWEPT
Word Count: 72,000
Genre: YA thriller with sci-fi elements
Query:
Something went seriously wrong with seventeen-year-old Nessa's memory removal procedure. Ever since that trip to the neuroscience lab, she's been having awful, itchy compulsions to steal everything in sight. And she's pretty sure she hallucinated a creepy old woman wearing a bunny mask in her bedroom.
When Nessa's parents haul her back to the lab to figure out what went wrong, an assistant named Amir pulls her aside and tells her he accidentally implanted another client's memory in her brain. That client just turned up dead. Amir says the freaked-out lab director is planning to scrape Nessa's brain clean to hide their mistake, and she needs to get away. Now.
Nessa's ready to punch Amir in the face, but his story explains her crazy behavior. And running away with him sounds a lot better than risking becoming a vegetable, so she does. Using hypnosis, Nessa and Amir try to dig out the secret memory so they can expose the lab. But the details are buried deep, and every time Nessa gets close, pieces of the memory she thought she had erased -- screeching tires and a boy's head smashing her windshield -- start coming back. She can't face it.
But she needs to face it, because that old lady in Nessa's bedroom wasn't a hallucination. She knows exactly what's in Nessa's brain and she's willing to kill again to get it.
First 250:
I climb into the driver's seat and tug off the wig that's been torturing my scalp for the last three hours. If hair could breathe, mine would be gasping in relief right now.
"Better put these on, Nessa." My cousin Beth picks up my jeans from her seat.
She has a point: I probably shouldn't be driving Grammy’s car wearing a corset and thigh-high stockings. I pull the banana out of the front of my spangly black underwear and throw it in Beth's lap. With a horrified squeak, she tosses it onto the floor.
"What time is it?" I say.
"Almost three," she says. "I don't know what the law is in Florida, but you're probably not supposed to be driving this late. Should we call a cab?"
My knees thump the steering wheel as I kick my heels off and squirm into the jeans. "We're incognito in this old lady car. It'll be fine."
With a nervous sigh, Beth hands me my t-shirt. She played it safe dressing up as Janet for the Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight, in a plain white dress and cardigan. She didn't even need to hide her outfit when we left the house. I, however, required a full costume change in the movie theater parking lot before we went in. And for a few precious hours, I wasn't Nessa Shea, boring Junior class treasurer and crew team captain. I was Dr. Frank N Furter, the deranged cross-dressing alien and red-lipstick aficionado from Transsexual, Transylvania.
Qk Round 2: Guerrilla Geek VS Star Light, Star Bright
Entry Nickname: Guerrilla Geek
Title: Ellie and the Arborites
Word count: 40K
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
No matter how many times twelve-year-old Ellie Emerson tells herself that trees and genetics are not cool topics of conversation, that’s kinda all she’s got. She’s seen so many eye-rolls that she can’t even force herself to look anybody in the eyes anymore. And the best defense against bullying she’s come up with is to pretty much stop talking altogether. It’s gotten so bad that the “friend” she hangs out with after school is an old chestnut tree she’s named Cassie (short for its Latin name, Castanea dentata). Sure, trees are great, but a few real friends would be nice. Ellie just has no clue how to even start.
But when Ellie’s out hiking in the woods behind her house and discovers Arborites, little green-haired, bark-skinned elves born from the seed of a tree, she gets her chance. A tree-loving science-geek is exactly what they need. Trees and Arborites all over the forest are mysteriously becoming sick, and they think Quercus Supreme, leader of the Oak Arborites, is to blame. Rumor has it he’s genetically engineering insects and diseases in a secret laboratory to get rid of anyone who’s different.
The Arborites must find out what’s going on and come up with a way to stop it, but they can’t do it on their own. If Ellie can learn how to look the Arborites straight in the eyes, find her voice, and let her geek-flag proudly fly, she might not only save lives, but also learn how to make friends.
First 250:
Ellie’s favorite tree was lying on the forest floor in a tangled heap. The only branch still covered with the yellow leaves of autumn waved in the breeze like it was signaling for help.
I should’ve stayed with her during the storm. There had to be something I could’ve done.
“I’m so sorry, Cassie. But hey, everything’s gonna be fine. I promise. Just like always,” she reassured the majestic century-old chestnut tree. “Wanna read some more Gulliver’s Travels? Or I’ve got a new book, Remarkable Trees of the World. There’s like a whole section on ‘Trees in Peril.’ Maybe some interesting treatments for forest diseases and insect infestations can cheer us up.”
Ellie grabbed her backpack and unzipped the main compartment. As she reached inside for the book, she noticed dozens of ants crawling up her sleeve.
“Eww,” she yelled, her eyes popping wide. She flicked the ants off and ran her hands up and down her body, straining to look at her backside, just to make sure there weren’t any more. And that’s when she saw the massive army of black ants marching along the fallen trunk. No, no, no, no, no.
“Shoo, get off,” she shouted. “She’s not some rotten log for you to nest in. Show some respect. Leave her alone!”
She pulled off her sneaker and beat them like she was trying to put out a brush-fire. Squished segmented bodies with wiry legs were scattered everywhere, but it did nothing to scare off the new arrivals.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Star Light, Star Bright
Title: Sadie Scottsdale and the Wasted Wish
Word Count: 40,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
In a world where wishes come true, ten-year-old Sadie Scottsdale wishes they didn’t.
Ever since the international Wishing Council identified her thirteen-year-old sister, Becca, as one of the world’s six Wishers, Sadie’s felt like a big, fat nothing. All everyone wants to talk about is Becca and how Becca’s upcoming Wish is sure to do something spectacular, like re-establish an extinct species or clean their town’s polluted river.
Sadie understands all the attention toward Becca—to a point. Wishes are important. They’re granted only every eight years when the Sister Comets re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere. What bothers Sadie is that no one seems to care Becca ruined her awesome summer. Now, instead of movies and the mall, a camping trip, and collecting the local restaurant’s giveaways, Sadie’s stuck in a boarding school in the Wishing Village with other kids unfortunate enough to be related to a Wisher. Worse, the Village isn’t even a real Village—it’s a bunch of buildings on a farm in Nebraska.
Then, as everyone waits for the Wishes to be granted, rumors swirl that Becca broke the rules by making a selfish Wish. Becca swears she didn’t, even as evidence mounts against her. With the Sister Comets rapidly approaching, Sadie bands with her new friends and comes up with a plan to clear Becca’s name and salvage her summer. Problem is, Sadie’s going to break the rules to do it, and if she gets caught, she’ll be joining Becca in the detention center until the next time the Sister Comets return.
First 250:
She had to stop soon, Sadie thought. No one could possibly sing that long, especially about something so stupid.
Clickety-clack. Clickety-clack.
Sadie winced as the sound of her sister’s high-heeled shoes striking the ceramic tile grew louder. Clasping her hands over her ears, she stared at her book. Maybe, just maybe, if she looked like she was concentrating really hard, Becca would leave her alone.
The shutter doors to the kitchen banged open.
“It’s Wishing Day! It’s Wishing Day! Come one, come all, it’s Wishing Daaaaay!” Becca sang, prancing into the sun-drenched room.
Don’t look. Sadie pressed her palms against the sides of her head and mouthed words she pretended to read.
Becca remained undaunted. “Wish-ing Day! Wish-ing Day! Every-body’s com-ing to Wish-ing Day!”
Sadie slumped and lifted her eyes. Becca twirled across the floor, her brand new white-flowered dress swaying as she spun.
“Hurry up, Sade. We can’t be laaaate,” Becca crooned.
Sadie waited until Becca stopped. Making sure her sister was watching, she gave her eyes a good roll and flipped the page.
Becca arched an eyebrow and smirked. “Mooom,” she sang. “Sadie’s not dressed!”
Sadie groaned, knowing what was coming.
“Sadie!” Mom shouted from her parents’ bedroom. “Move it!”
Sliding off the kitchen stool, Sadie grabbed her bowl of pineapple. She tossed a chunk into her mouth and trudged toward her bedroom.
Becca skipped by and gave a light push. “Come on, Slow-mo.”
With a flick of her wrist, Sadie grasped the satin ribbon on Becca’s dress and pulled.
Title: Ellie and the Arborites
Word count: 40K
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
No matter how many times twelve-year-old Ellie Emerson tells herself that trees and genetics are not cool topics of conversation, that’s kinda all she’s got. She’s seen so many eye-rolls that she can’t even force herself to look anybody in the eyes anymore. And the best defense against bullying she’s come up with is to pretty much stop talking altogether. It’s gotten so bad that the “friend” she hangs out with after school is an old chestnut tree she’s named Cassie (short for its Latin name, Castanea dentata). Sure, trees are great, but a few real friends would be nice. Ellie just has no clue how to even start.
But when Ellie’s out hiking in the woods behind her house and discovers Arborites, little green-haired, bark-skinned elves born from the seed of a tree, she gets her chance. A tree-loving science-geek is exactly what they need. Trees and Arborites all over the forest are mysteriously becoming sick, and they think Quercus Supreme, leader of the Oak Arborites, is to blame. Rumor has it he’s genetically engineering insects and diseases in a secret laboratory to get rid of anyone who’s different.
The Arborites must find out what’s going on and come up with a way to stop it, but they can’t do it on their own. If Ellie can learn how to look the Arborites straight in the eyes, find her voice, and let her geek-flag proudly fly, she might not only save lives, but also learn how to make friends.
First 250:
Ellie’s favorite tree was lying on the forest floor in a tangled heap. The only branch still covered with the yellow leaves of autumn waved in the breeze like it was signaling for help.
I should’ve stayed with her during the storm. There had to be something I could’ve done.
“I’m so sorry, Cassie. But hey, everything’s gonna be fine. I promise. Just like always,” she reassured the majestic century-old chestnut tree. “Wanna read some more Gulliver’s Travels? Or I’ve got a new book, Remarkable Trees of the World. There’s like a whole section on ‘Trees in Peril.’ Maybe some interesting treatments for forest diseases and insect infestations can cheer us up.”
Ellie grabbed her backpack and unzipped the main compartment. As she reached inside for the book, she noticed dozens of ants crawling up her sleeve.
“Eww,” she yelled, her eyes popping wide. She flicked the ants off and ran her hands up and down her body, straining to look at her backside, just to make sure there weren’t any more. And that’s when she saw the massive army of black ants marching along the fallen trunk. No, no, no, no, no.
“Shoo, get off,” she shouted. “She’s not some rotten log for you to nest in. Show some respect. Leave her alone!”
She pulled off her sneaker and beat them like she was trying to put out a brush-fire. Squished segmented bodies with wiry legs were scattered everywhere, but it did nothing to scare off the new arrivals.
VERSUS
Entry Nickname: Star Light, Star Bright
Title: Sadie Scottsdale and the Wasted Wish
Word Count: 40,000
Genre: MG Fantasy
Query:
In a world where wishes come true, ten-year-old Sadie Scottsdale wishes they didn’t.
Ever since the international Wishing Council identified her thirteen-year-old sister, Becca, as one of the world’s six Wishers, Sadie’s felt like a big, fat nothing. All everyone wants to talk about is Becca and how Becca’s upcoming Wish is sure to do something spectacular, like re-establish an extinct species or clean their town’s polluted river.
Sadie understands all the attention toward Becca—to a point. Wishes are important. They’re granted only every eight years when the Sister Comets re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere. What bothers Sadie is that no one seems to care Becca ruined her awesome summer. Now, instead of movies and the mall, a camping trip, and collecting the local restaurant’s giveaways, Sadie’s stuck in a boarding school in the Wishing Village with other kids unfortunate enough to be related to a Wisher. Worse, the Village isn’t even a real Village—it’s a bunch of buildings on a farm in Nebraska.
Then, as everyone waits for the Wishes to be granted, rumors swirl that Becca broke the rules by making a selfish Wish. Becca swears she didn’t, even as evidence mounts against her. With the Sister Comets rapidly approaching, Sadie bands with her new friends and comes up with a plan to clear Becca’s name and salvage her summer. Problem is, Sadie’s going to break the rules to do it, and if she gets caught, she’ll be joining Becca in the detention center until the next time the Sister Comets return.
First 250:
She had to stop soon, Sadie thought. No one could possibly sing that long, especially about something so stupid.
Clickety-clack. Clickety-clack.
Sadie winced as the sound of her sister’s high-heeled shoes striking the ceramic tile grew louder. Clasping her hands over her ears, she stared at her book. Maybe, just maybe, if she looked like she was concentrating really hard, Becca would leave her alone.
The shutter doors to the kitchen banged open.
“It’s Wishing Day! It’s Wishing Day! Come one, come all, it’s Wishing Daaaaay!” Becca sang, prancing into the sun-drenched room.
Don’t look. Sadie pressed her palms against the sides of her head and mouthed words she pretended to read.
Becca remained undaunted. “Wish-ing Day! Wish-ing Day! Every-body’s com-ing to Wish-ing Day!”
Sadie slumped and lifted her eyes. Becca twirled across the floor, her brand new white-flowered dress swaying as she spun.
“Hurry up, Sade. We can’t be laaaate,” Becca crooned.
Sadie waited until Becca stopped. Making sure her sister was watching, she gave her eyes a good roll and flipped the page.
Becca arched an eyebrow and smirked. “Mooom,” she sang. “Sadie’s not dressed!”
Sadie groaned, knowing what was coming.
“Sadie!” Mom shouted from her parents’ bedroom. “Move it!”
Sliding off the kitchen stool, Sadie grabbed her bowl of pineapple. She tossed a chunk into her mouth and trudged toward her bedroom.
Becca skipped by and gave a light push. “Come on, Slow-mo.”
With a flick of her wrist, Sadie grasped the satin ribbon on Becca’s dress and pulled.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)