QK Round 3: Kicking Ash vs. Minna Gray

Nickname: Kicking Ash
Title: Earth to Earth
Word Count: 62,000
Genre: NA Urban Fantasy

Query:

Getting over the death of your boyfriend is tough, especially when you swear you just saw him outside of your new apartment.

Five years after Hailey loses her boyfriend, Ash, in a horrific car accident that almost claims her life, she is still struggling to put herself back together. At her breaking point, she moves from her small hometown to the big city, hoping to get lost in the crowd and start fresh. But things get complicated when she sees Ash. Or thinks she sees Ash. Swears she sees Ash.

After an exhausting search, she finally discovers the truth. The truth about Ash’s death, miraculous resurrection, and breathtaking wings that she’d never noticed before. As a guardian angel, Ash’s mission was to help Hailey in her time of death, but when he broke the rules and fell for her, all bets were off. Now, the Angel of Death is out for revenge, setting her eyes on Hailey once again. Hailey doesn’t want to trust Ash, or even really like him again, but when she’s staring Death in her pretty, pale face, a rebellious Guardian Angel isn’t a bad thing to have around.

First 250 Words:

It’s impossible to know when your life is about to change forever. There’s no alarm or warning. No note from Mom reminding you to keep an eye out for the worst possible thing. And in those few seconds before it hits, you find yourself so blissfully ignorant that you can’t possibly imagine something will go wrong. Like now.

I’m riding with my boyfriend down a curvy country road, taking in the warm breeze and the smell of the wildflowers nestled along the trees. The simplicity of summer surrounds us, promising nearly three whole months of freedom until we leave for college. Everything is perfect. Then, just like that, it isn’t.

I don’t see whatever makes him jerk the wheel violently to the left. The smell of burnt rubber assaults my nose and my body slams hard against the restraint of the seat belt. The car spins, rocketing towards the guardrail separating us from the trees.

I gaze over to the driver’s side, expecting to hear my boyfriend scream. A cry. Something. There is nothing but silence as he stares back at me, sporting a perfectly calm expression. No panic, no fear. Like he’s trying to tell me something in the midst of the chaos.

My head snaps forward as we hit the ground and roll. Once. Twice. The third time the windshield fractures.
This exact moment, the one when glass shatters, is actually quite beautiful. The way the center splinters and spiders out before bursting into little white stars, glimmering against the sun.

Versus

Entry Nickname: Minna Gray
Title: The Awakening of Minna Gray
Word count: 89,000
Genre: YA Futuristic Fantasy

Query:

Sixteen-year-old Minna Gray’s life in SilCorp’s Emerald District is shattered when the two boys she’s babysitting are kidnapped. But guilt turns to panic when she discovers no one is looking for the boys. No one even remembers them.

It’s as if they’ve been erased.

Fortunately, Minna’s not the only one who remembers. Corrin, a boy whose path always seems to cross hers, knows about the disappearances. He tells her they aren’t isolated events: every day more people are erased.

Corrin says Minna has a magical ancestry and that her inherited power over the elements could put an end to the ghants – the gray men who perform the kidnappings. To harness these powers, she must travel to the Outlands – the pest-infected waste beyond the city walls. But no one survives the Outlands, and Minna’s not sure she’s ready to trade life in Emerald for a slow suicide. She’s not even sure she can trust Corrin.

But soon she’ll have to decide. She must race to stop the ghants before all hope for the missing boys is lost, and before anyone else she loves is erased.

First 250 words:

She’d seen one once before - years ago, with Cameron, by the seaside. Its little round body flitted between palm fronds like a tiny jeweled fairy. They were supposed to turn it in. But they hadn’t. They’d watched it all afternoon, until finally it leapt into the sky and flew away, back over the Outer Wall. Their secret.

This one seemed even more out of place, amidst the asphalt and the early evening glow of the podcar lines. For a second, she thought she was imagining it. But then Ethan saw it too.

“What is it?” he asked, gaze transfixed on the emerald blot making its way across the dull bronze shine of the hood.

“A beetle.”

His brown eyes widened. “A real one?”

Minna nodded. “Don’t touch it.” But she was mesmerized too.

He frowned, waving his PestDetector wand over it. “It doesn’t beep.”

“Maybe it’s not infected.” Yet.

They watched its twiggy, spindle-legged progression from latch to windshield. “I don’t want anyone to kill it,” Ethan whispered as he backed away.

Technically it was a vector. Technically they were supposed to destroy it. But it was so small and round and innocent. Suddenly, it lifted off. Humming, it vanished into the protective green and white flurry of the nearby jasmine. Minna exhaled.

“Probably escaped from a DomeZoo.” Ethan said, glancing at her with a shaky laugh.

“Probably, but you still need to disinfect.” Minna puffed her emergency spray into the air, enveloping them in shivering white mist. Silently they counted out the seconds ... eight, nine, ten. Safe.