Aug 19, 2013

Why I Cry

Childhood is supposed to be the most carefree portion of everyone's life. It's a time of wonder and hope, blind trust and love. It's a time when adventure can be had camping in the back yard or climbing up bunkbeds. It's supposed to be

Mine wasn't.

My childhood was filled with terror. I was so afraid that I couldn't relax. I was always tense, on edge...waiting. Waiting for my mother to come home and yell at, curse at, or beat me and my siblings. I lived in constant fear ever single day of the first 16 years of my life. Every. Single. Day.

TV was my escape. I'd watch a show or movie and, for that hour/hour and a half, I would be someone else, somewhere else. I'd live in a place I could relax and be myself. A place where I didn't have to fear showing emotion. 

Every life that I became a part of has stayed with me from then til now. They gave me solace when I needed it the most, joy during my darkest hour, and hope for a brighter day. Lilo and Stitch, Jett Jackson, Alex Mack, Zenon, Cory Mathews, and Keenan and Kel (just to name a few) were the highlights of my life. They helped for me into the man I am today.

And I don't want to see any more of them die. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Bernie Mac, Lee Thompson Young, Cory Monteith...they're all gone. And each time I hear the news, I lose a piece of myself because they did so much for me, and I couldn't do a single thing to save them.


  1. You did though. You did what you could - you participated in their stories and in the stories of their lives. You were a fan. Even if they didn't know you personally. AND...none of us can save another person (except in that actual push you out of the path of a bus way). We each make our choices and must live with the choices of those around us. Being a fan, or a friend, is what we can do - so keep doing that. And keep writing, Mike.

  2. I'm so sorry :( I second what GKByrne said. Also, now, you are creating your OWN stories to help other children who are like how you used to be. Keep going. Your kindness and enthusiasm will help tons of people.